Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


My pet tiger, bitten by a snake and died.



Scott30 1 / -  
Jul 15, 2011   #1
My dogs name is tiger. he barks at people who come at the door and he ate our leftovers and got bitten by a snake and died.

EricJ - / 48  
Jul 17, 2011   #2
Dude,

Sorry to hear about your dog. I once had a snake that got bitten by a dog and died. But, that's another story.

I'm hoping the assignment was to tell a story in one sentence.

Here's my revision of your sad tale:

My dog's name was Tiger; he used to eat leftovers and bark at people who came to our door, but he got bitten by a snake and died.

If you are allowed more than one sentence, go with this:

My dog's name was Tiger. He was a (insert breed ) and loved to eat leftovers and bark at people who came to our door. He got bitten by a poisonous snake and died. I killed the snake with a shovel and buried my beloved Tiger in the backyard.

Remember that specific details help readers visualize the tragedy. Tell what kind of dog Tiger was. Was he a yellow Lab? A boxer? Was the snake a rattler? a copperhead? Remember also that Tiger is what your English teacher would call a proper noun. Even if he used to pee all over the rug, he still deserves a capital letter at the start of his name.

Good luck!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Jul 17, 2011   #3
I once had a snake that got bitten by a dog and died. But, that's another story.

Is that really true, or do you just have a messed up sense of humor?! :-)

Use an apostrophe:
My dog's name is tiger.

Capitalize the first word of a sentence:
He barks at...

Jeya, welcome to EssayForum! I hope you work hard here and become an excellent writer with the English language.
EricJ - / 48  
Jul 17, 2011   #4
I'll never tell. :-)


Home / Writing Feedback / My pet tiger, bitten by a snake and died.
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳