Both physical and mental strenght are necessary to reach success in a sport

IELTS Writing Task 2 about sports

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In order to get achievements in sport, most people argue that the most vital factor is physical strength. However, the fact that, no single sportsman could reach the success in their career without a strong mental heath. That why I believe that both qualities play the crucial role in this field.

On the one hand, people obviously recognize the physical demand in sport. Sport is the field need people to show off their body power and the trainers could be discover talents throught their activies. Sportsmen are provided well-balanced diets and severe training regulations to satisfy qualities in their sport due to maintaining stamina and endurance. Even more, there are many sports stars in the world have given up their fame because of detecting performance-enhancing drugs in body in order to reach top physical condition.

On the other hand, athletic competitors appreciate the necessity of a strong mental attitude. Firstly, mental strength foster sportsmen's will when they are in training process. Victory could be achieved in near days, it is the achievement long-term plan and competitors would experience hard time. In these moments, mental strength add more motivation. Secondly, people could not do everything perfectly, neither of athletes. There will be failures or traumas. Which helps them overcome their regret and continue the arduous career is inside power. Ultimately, win would come back.

In conclusion, both physical and mental strenght are important to success in sport and they supplement to other in the life of athletic competitors.

The essay will receive automatic TA point deductions for the lack of word count. Of the 250 word minimum, you only wrote 247 words. Normally the essay would fail in totality but scoring adjustments have changed the total failing score to simply points deductions when it comes to word count. Regardless, you must ensure that you meet the minimum word requirement as that will allow you to better score in the GRA section. Additional TA deductions will be made because of your improper formatting of your response and prompt deviation. Your essay does not offer a personal opinion along with a comparative discussion of the public point of view. Please note:

DI: Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Response: That why I believe that both qualities play the crucial role in this field.

See? You created your own discussion which does not respond to the prompt instructions. That is a serious error on your part and will be the main point deductions reason.

The reasoning paragraphs present the 2 public points of view but fails to present your personal opinion within the expected 3rd reasoning paragraph. So there will be a problem with your final score since the discussion is not fully developed. When you miss out on discussing a specific requirement, you can expect that your scoring deductions will be such that you will be unable to reach a 5 band score.

@Holt
I really thank you for your comment. I have some questions! In the 3rd paragraph, should I present the public points about this then add my opinion or I can present my own view directly and give following reasons; after that, in conclusion I write "In conclusion, both physical and mental strenght are important to success in sport and they supplement to other in the life of athletic competitors. That why I believe that both qualities play the crucial role in this field."

Do you think it better?