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The pie chart below shows the share of Oscar winners by film genre for 2003 and 2008.



harleneeee 1 / -  
Feb 14, 2023   #1
Task:

The pie charts below show the share of Oscar winners by film genre for 2003 and 2008.


Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

My writing:
The pie charts give a breakdown of the share of Oscar winners by genre of film in two years 2003 and 2008.

It is noticeable that the Oscar-winning thriller category made up the largest proportion of Oscar winners in all two years. By contrast, comedy won the least prizes in this Award.

In 2003, 42% of the Oscars went on the thriller category. However, this figure experienced a significant by 5% after 5 years. Furthermore, Documentary and Action genres shared the same proportions with 13% in 2003, while there was a deep rise by 4% in Documentary, Award-winning action movies increased to 12% in 2005.

With regard to the Horror category, the proportion of winners increased from 7% in 2003 to 10% in 2005. Similarly, the figure for Science Fiction rose from 11% to 10% over the 5-year period. Finally, Romance and comedy genres had the same figures, remaining steady at 12% and 3% respectively.


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Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Feb 15, 2023   #2
The number of pie charts and what sections each pie chart represents should be a part of the summary overview. It is an incoherent sentence because there is a lack of proper word usage that would have added to the clarity of the presentation. It is a confusing run-on sentence instead.

Word usage is a problem for the writer. Due to your inability to use the correct words and tenses in the paragraphs, the presentation is more confusing to the reader rather than informative. I would do more vocabulary building and sentence familiarity exercises to help you learn more about proper idea presentations in essay form. The main failing scores you will receive are in the LR and GRA sections.

All of the presentation sections cannot be considered complete paragraphs as these do not contain at least 3 sentences each. Reading through these, it becomes evident that the lack of sentence explanations / development led to the under explained presentations. You should try to write at least one or 2 proper analytical sentences along with the direct information reports in the presentation to achieve a better discussed paragraph presentation.


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