Unanswered [25] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 6


The pie charts compares household expenses in 7 different categories in a 60-year period


andika08 81 / 80 16  
Oct 29, 2016   #1
WRITING TASK 1 :The average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010

The pie charts compares the expenditure of household in 7 different categories in a 60-year period. Overall, all figures showed a shift trend. In this case, decreasing rate was shown in both housing and education while the others figures witnessed the opposite.

A household expenditure was dominated by housing in 1950 at 72,1%, but by 2010, this had fallen to more than a fifth. Meanwhile, with 11,2 percent, food came as the second initially. However, this category increased significantly by around 23%, far outnumbering all figures at the end of the year.

Turning to another comparison, there were several basic necessities. At the beginning, there was a similar pattern shown in both health care and transportation in which they increased by 2% and 14% respectively after a 60-year period. This was in marked contrast to the figure for education experiencing a decline by 6,3 % at the end of the year.



TANJIN 7 / 6  
Oct 29, 2016   #2
Hi,

~The pie charts compares

~ both the housing and the education

~the others figures
faizunaa17 49 / 91  
Oct 29, 2016   #3
The pie charts comparescompare the expenditure of household in 7 different categories in aduring 60-year period.

1. compare ---> refer to they not compares.

2. during, it is more appropriate

Overall, all figures showed a shift trend.

Well, in my opinion you cannot mention this kind of trend, because the data is too few. It only compare 2 years data, and you can't say it "trend". Usually trend is used for line chart, that have many years, not only two.
septiadara29 48 / 67 9  
Oct 29, 2016   #4
Hello andika! I will give you some opinions about your essay.

(1) The pie charts compares(because it has two charts) the expenditure of household in 7 different categories in aover 60-year period.
(2) Overall, all figures showedshows a shift trend.
(3) ... in 1950 at 72,1%, but by in 2010, this had ...
(4) Meanwhile, with 11,2 percent , food came as the second ...
(5) ... which theythese expenditure increased by 2% and 14% ...
Delvisyendra 6 / 7  
Oct 29, 2016   #5
The pie charts compare the expenditure of household ...
... in both housing and education (you should add "percentage, proportion, trend and etc ) while the others figures ...
mem77 62 / 98 6  
Nov 12, 2016   #6
Dear Andika, here some advice for your writing and feel free to correct me too!

In this case, decreasinga decreased rate was shown (...) while the others figures witnessed the opposite.

...but by 2010, this had been fallen to ...

... by around 23%, far outnumberingoutnumbered all figures at...

This was in marked contrasted to the figure for education experiencingexperienced a declined by 6,3 % at the ...

Regards


Home / Writing Feedback / The pie charts compares household expenses in 7 different categories in a 60-year period
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳