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The pie charts gives information of survey result in 2005 and 2009 about employee and their bosses


andika08 81 / 80 16  
Oct 4, 2016   #1
Writing Task 1: relationships at work (2005 and 2009)

The pie charts give information of survey result in 2005 and 2009 by asking employee about their relationshis with their manager and partner workers. Overall, the percentage of respon from relationship between workers and their supervisors also their workers experienced change with the different number.

Relationships with manager in 2005 and 2009 have contrast variation about percentage of respon is very pleasure for working with the manager. Three of employee answer sample rise in a number percentage. The precentage in the amount of respon called very good is 61% and 65% in different years. Beside that the precentage is decrease in the amount of respon called good is 26% and 22%.

On the other hand, Relationships with co-workers in 2005 and 2009 have slightly different about percentage of respon the question. Two of employee answer sample increase in a number percentage. The precentage in the amount of respon called very good is 63% and 70% in the first and last surveys. Meanwhile the percentage is drop in the amount of respon called good is 28% and 25%.




akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
Oct 5, 2016   #2
Hi Andika.
These are my thoughts for your writing


about their relationshis

THEIR RELATIONSHIPS (BE CAREFUL OF MISSPELLING)

Overall, the percentage of respon from relationship between workers and their supervisors also their ...

OVERALL, IT CAN BE SEEN THAT THE RELATIONSHIP AMONGST WORKERS HAD BEEN BETTER IN A 5-YEAR PERIOD. FURTHERMORE, AN INCREASE FOR THE LEVEL OF THE EMPLOYEES NOT HAVING THE SUPERVISOR IS MORE THAN FOR THE WORKER WITHOUT THE COLLEAGUE.

(You should make 2 sentences for the overview)
ibal28 20 / 30 5  
Oct 5, 2016   #3
Hi andikaa. Here I left some suggestion for you. Hope it can help.

Overall, the percentage of respon from relationship between workers ...
It should be:
==>The pie chart compares the proportion of survey result by asking some employees about their relationships with their manager in 2005 and 2009. It is noticeable that, the percentage of response by some workers ....(Please pay attention to what the most interesting and important information. You can write down the highest or the lowest proportion based on the chart)

Relationships with the manager in 2005 (...) percentage of responresponse is very pleasure for ...
Three of employee answer sample rise in a number percentage. The precentagepercentage in the amount of responresponse called very good ...
Beside that the precentagepercentageis decreaseis decreased (It appears that the form of the verb 'decrease' doesn't work with is in this sentence) in the amount of responresponse called good ...

note:
- there are some vocabularies that misspelling in your writing. you have to check it first before you post it.
- you miss some article in few words. please concern about this :)


On the other hand, Rr elationships (who?) with co-workers in 2005 (...) about The percentage of ...
Two of employee answer sample increase in ...
The precentagepercentage in the amount of responresponse called very good ...
Meanwhile, (remember to put the comma after transition) the percentage is drop in the amount of responresponse called good is 28% and 25% (you can use 'a quarter' for 25% and 'just over a quarter' for 28%)==> you have to mention who get the good percentage.

Keep writing!!


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