Have you ever play 'Rock paper scissors' with your relatives when you were little?

Do you agree or disagree?
The extended family(grandparents,cousins,aunts,and uncles)is less important now than it was in the past.

Have you ever play 'Rock paper scissors'with you relatives when you were little?As people grow up,they may move or work geographical therefore they spend less time with their cousin,grandparents etc.Some people believe that extended family members are indispensable in life.However,I believe that people nowadays are independent hence no necessary to have relatives.My reasons are given as follows.

First,we all know that more people today are independent.A majority of people are trying to be individual when they are young.Especially in America,when you are eighteen,you are consider as an adult and have to move out of parents house.Further more,when you start a new family,you might have you own kids.When this happened,you extended family members become less important then you husband,kids in your life because you have your own family who you need to focus on and take care of.

What is more important.If you spend lots of time with you cousins,aunts,you may be hard to make new friends.In many instances,when summer vacation come.many parents put heir kids with their cousins for the whole summer instead of spending time with their old friends or making new friends.Parents might think it is good for their kids to spend time with their relatives.However,this is not the truth.In fact,people find out that their kids act independently and differently when they are at school or with friends.Since they resemble an themselves as an adults when they are not with any of their relatives.

Last,but not least,The extended family members like grandparent have generation gap with younger people.Actually,many people think their granparent should spend most of their time with others who is the same age with them.Take China as example,most of young people know that it is obligatory and to live with their grandparent when they get married.But it always turns out that grandson have conflicts with older people for entire life.

In a word.I believe that people should treat their extended family members equally like normal friends.When one people start a new life with he/she,I believe they will be busy with themselves.

I think the topic is asking about the role of extended family in two different generations. For example the importance of relatives for the families lived 70 years ago and modern families, don't think it talks about two periods of our lives. So, I think you need to revise the thesis statement.


the opening sentence of a paragraph is supposed to be a topic sentence that includes general and precise ideas. Unfortunately, this topic sentence is not clear and does not show what you are going to argue in this paragraph


remember that "America" is a continent not a country, so it is better to say "the US"


this could be true in the past too, but why they were important at that time? Again, I think the topic asks to compare the traditional and modern families.

try to use different structures for the sentences you write. Don't use "you" too much. It is better to use a mixture of active and passive voices in your essay to make the essay more dynamic and interesting. To learn how to write a complex sentence I suggest you to read as many texts as possible. One of the easiest complex structures that you can use is "not only ... but also", or "on the one hand ... and on the other hand". I recommend you to read the book "focus on vocabulary" to study more sophisticated words and see how professional writers organize a text.

hope this helps
Cheers

Hi,Thank you so much :)