TOEFL Essay: Popularity of movies in all over the world.

Hi everyone,

Request you to please check my essay and correct it. (any suggestions are always welcome)

Movies are popular all over the world. Explain why movies are so popular. Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

In early days, movies were not as popular as today. Nowadays, movies are one of the most popular part of entertainment. Everyone wants something to enjoy and watching movie is one of the best option for entertainment and I think that, this is the most important reason of why movies are most popular in all over the world. Popularity of movies made this film industry very big in all over the world, as a result it created an employment in every country.

To start with, first reason which is entertainment. Watching movies is one of our favorite weekend time pass. There are various types of movies such as action, thriller, comedy and animated. People watch movies to make themselves relax. Watching movie helps them to keep away from their day to day work and tensions. Some action, thriller and suspense movies take us in the different world. We can forget all our tensions after watching such movies and get back to our life with fresh mood. We can get different types of knowledge from movies like knowledge about history such movies keep historical events live. There are some sports related movies which are very inspirational. I always get inspired by such sports and action based movies. Animated movies are also very interesting movies. Bollywood and Hollywood are the two large and most popular industries in all over the world.

In addition, Film industry plays a vital role in the economic development of the country. There are various other small business attached to this industry for example, to produce any movie, there is need of actors, actresses, sub actors, story writer, dancer, choreographer, camera man, make up man, costumes, studio and different sets. Without all these no movie can be produce. Once movie will be produce then promotion or advertisement is necessary to run that movie, so advertisement industry also plays a vital role to make movies popular. Now, we can see there are various universities where students take education to enter in this industry. It has also become an important field to make a career.

Finally, I think that, entertainment, positive response from public, awareness and employment these are some of the important reasons behind the popularity of movies.

Thanks,
Ana.

You might use "we" instead of "I"。

Here, you should indicate the correlation and interaction beween economic development and the popularity of movies.

Overall, your essay is really amazing.

In early days, movies were not as popular as today. Nowadays, movies are one of the most popular forms of entertainment.
Everyone wants something to enjoy and watching movie is one of the best option for entertainment and I think that, this is the most important reason of why movies are most popular in all over the world. Popularity of movies made this film industry very big in all over the world, as a result it created an employment in every country.

To start with, first reason which is entertainment. We can get different types of knowledge from movies like ones about history. Animated [b]ones are also very interesting movies. It is important to avoid redundancy and repitition, such as using the word "movies three times in one sentence...once the reader is sucked in and aware of the topic at hand, it becomes unnecessary to keep stating the term, word, phrase over and over)

Thanks both of you Susan and Colin.

Susan: Thanks especially for this particular sentence "movies are one of the most popular forms of entertainment". I did not like mine one. I wrote and erase that 20-25 times but I was not sure about that whether to write 'part of' or 'option for' entertainment. Sometimes very common or familiar words don't come in mind while writing. I will also try to avoid the repetition.

Colin: Yes, I do agree with you. In my third para, I tried to explain two points which are: " Increase in employment helps directly or indirectly in the economic development of the country" AND " It is also becoming a interesting field to make a career" I think, these two can also be reasons of popularity of movies and my mistake is that I did not conclude that at the end of para. When I was writing this essay, I was wondering that, "Are these two reasons make sense..?" Still I am not sure..(?_?) Can you please tel me that are these two reasons make sense? AND/OR can you please suggest me some alternative words/sentences which will help to find correlation between both?

Thanks,
Ana.