In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions?
Those days whereby only adults involve themselves in the working sector were gone. Today, even children go to work and this especially true in some countries like China and India. However, many opine that this is not the right time for them to work as they are still young for that. On the other hand, some do also argue that working can provide numerous precious experiences for children. I, for one believe that there are both positive aspects and drawbacks when children engage themselves in work.
First and foremost, through working, undeniably children will be able to learn the importance of money in everyday life. It will dawn upon them that to earn a sum of money, a lot of hard work must be invested into it. Apart from that, there are other essential characteristics that children can learn through working such as co-operation as they will have to work with various people with different perspectives and time management skills. All these values can definitely benefit them in studies or in future careers.
Looking from the other perspective, if a child is involved in a paid work at such an early stage of life for example like 15 or so, they may grow up money-minded. Hence, there is a higher chance for them to deviate from studies and involve in working full-time. This was what happened to a shopkeeper at my residential area. As he worked part - time to generate extra income for his family, he felt that it made him earn more compared to studying. As a consequence, he has now opened a shop and is running it with little success. On top of all, the studies of the child can be affected if he works. This is because he would be exhausted after work and thus might not have sufficient time to spend on his studies. As a result, there may be a decline in his achievement in studies.
In my opinion, I think it is certainly not wrong for a child to work. Nevertheless, he should know his limits and therefore, balance it appropriately with his studies and work. He must ensure that his studies are not affected by his work, as of course at this age, education should be the priority compared to engaging in some kind of paid work. Perhaps, instead of working during the school period, children can do so during their long holidays so that their studies will not be disturbed.
To conclude, working is undoubtedly advantageous to children. Nonetheless, there are some negative aspects of it that is certainly preventable. A little problem will surely not diminish the benefits that working has to offer to the children.
This is the first time I comment on an essay at this site, I wish that it could help though I still lack experiences to rate you.
-Those days whereby only adults involve the usage of whereby is not appropriate for whereby indicates the means like " because of" " by" or " by what means". eg: the process whereby.
-Beginning each body paragraph, I think there should be a clear main sentence which introduce what's following are advantages or disadvantages of parttime job.
-deviate from studies - I would rewrite: drop out of school.
Generally, I think your essay is pretty good and I even learn some useful things as well :)
