Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


The power of advertising and ads in the commerce essay



manjit809 5 / 14  
Nov 7, 2012   #1
Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of society in which they are sold.

To what an extent, do you agree or disagree with it ?


As the world has been revolutionized with the advanced communication techniques, commercial sector has availed a big boom with it. Their sky high sales are edifying it without any doubt. Whether it only showcases the potential of selling strategies only, to some an extent, I favor it.

It has been apparently seen that every company is focusing on higher sales, thus making continuous changes for advertising the product at the best. For example, hiring celebrities for clenching their fan following, lucrative discounts, after sale services etc. These tricks are capable enough to seize the buying behavior of consumer. Sometimes, the attraction goes such high that people purchase the things which even they do not need like extra cars, double to triple mobile phones. Moreover, the powerful the adverts are, the higher is the quality assumed. Thus, buying habits and pattern is largely prone to the publicity of products.

However, this is the case true with only some sections of society and specifically restricted to luxury or some other comforts. Viewing at a subtle, people buy what actually the need. The main motive behind even a single item's purchase, be it high class or common, people show and have need. It can be strengthened further that people who barely can, make their both ends meet, cannot be fascinated by anything rather their necessities only.

Eventually, ads do play a major role in boosting the commerce, yet the real shoot up of sales, vividly elucidates the needs and standard of society.

ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 661  
Nov 7, 2012   #2
It would be better to took one position (agree or disagree) and then support your opinion through at least two paragraphs. When you take one position you can focus on one aspect of the topic and it makes the essay more fluent and it becomes easier to write for you, as a writer. Moreover, as I suggested you before, try to use more tangible examples for supporting topic sentences.

Good luck
Ahmad
hey_yolanda - / 1  
Nov 7, 2012   #3
It seems that you are trying to use some big words but you should pay attention to how it fits in your essay , otherwise your points would be low due to the accuracy .

and i've identified some mistakes in your essay .

to some an extent â†' to some extent
this is the case true withâ†' this is the case with
Viewing at a subtle, people buy what actually the need. â†'(if you are trying to say that people actually know what they are buying since they pay attention to details and they are buying what they need ,you can say :) As a matter of fact , people make purchases based on their actual needs .

Eventually, adsâ†'NEVER USE ABBREVIATION IN IELTS , change it into advertisements

good luck .
OP manjit809 5 / 14  
Nov 7, 2012   #4
ah_zafari

Thanks for your valuable advice. Please see If this change can be helpful in introduction :-

Undoubtedly, the business is on new heights at present and companies are recording ever higher sales of their products. It has been argued if it is only the impact of how well the products are being publicized or does it show the actual needs of the consumers. As companies are using all the means to burgeon their sales by hook or crook, I tend to favor that high sales are not the mirror to the actual needs of society.


Home / Writing Feedback / The power of advertising and ads in the commerce essay
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳