The power of advertising and the real needs of society in consumer goods

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the intensely competitive business environment nowadays, advertising is such a powerful weapon enormously influencing our consumer habits. Much effective as it is, it seems one-sided without considering another important one to be the cause: our demand. Therefore, I only partly agree with the idea that advertising, instead of the society's needs, is playing the main role in deciding what we buy.

Because of the rapid development of businesses and corporations, we are now overwhelmed with the diversity of different products. Therefore, advertisement is the key factor which makes a product stand out, or attract us more than others. Advertising obviously boosts the advantages of the goods and centers on our psychological aspects, with the only aim to raise its trading volume. For example, most of the time we go shopping, we tend to pick up more than expected, or buy goods that later turns out unnecessary. That is because, we are easily attracted by goods that are advertised everywhere, or by what the sellers say about their products. We also like to buy products of well-known brands more than ones with no fame, which can be stated as a clear example of the economic power of advertisement.

However, a popular consumer product will not become a household name if it is not what we need. Advertisement has the power to influence what we buy, but if we use and find out it is not at all like what they say about the product, and we cannot use it, then we will not buy it again. Only products that meet our society's real needs will stay long with us and become popular. Otherwise, it will only be the trend for a short time, and then replaced by others. For example, each time a new smartphone is released and widely advertised, it is considered fashionable and modern to have one, so people follow the trend and buy it. But sooner or later, another new smartphone will steal the show, and the old one has now become out of fashion.

In conclusion, it is undeniable that advertisement is extremely advantageous for companies to sell their products, but what the society truly need is also a crucial factor to take into consideration.

Take into account the 40 minute time frame to write this essay. Now, get your mobile phone and go to the clock. Find the timer icon. Set the timer for 40 minutes, Start writing the essay. The timer goes off. Time's up ! 40 minutes have gone by to fast. Check the word count, how many words did you write? Less than 369 right? Did you remember to spellcheck before the timer ended? You didn't? Oops, you have just lost valuable scoring points because you used up all your time writing and filling the page with words instead of focusing on the proper paraphrase of the discussion and a direct discussion, with appropriate topic sentences per paragraph for the essay. Use no more than 5 sentences per essay so that you will have time to self-check your essay before the time ends and you have to submit the essay already.

You seem to have forgotten the general rule, that the first paragraph is always the paraphrased outline of the discussion topic and style based on the original prompt. You instead began discussing your opinion in the essay. The TA score will consider how you did not properly rephrase the prompt and deduct points for that. It will give you points for appropriately responding to the prompt question though. Just do a direct paraphrase in your next essay. Don't start the discussion there. Remember, you only have 5 sentences with which to prove to the reviewer that you understood what the topic is about and how you are supposed to discuss it. Outline the essay first. Don't discuss in the first paragraph.

As far as I can tell, you have at least 3 errors in this essay based on spelling, grammar, and vocabulary. The spelling error is simple to explain. You just spelled the British English word "centre" in the American English form of "center". Familiarize yourself with the eccentricities of the British English language. They spell some words far differently from the American English users. They also have stranger reference words such as "lift" for an elevator and "loo" for the bathroom. Little differences in the language I know, but knowing these differences would help increase your LR score and impress the examiner. As for the grammar, you made just a slight error by using a comma with a conjunction. That is not done. just say it straight (out or instead of out, or). Your essay could also use more descriptive adjectives such as "a brief time" instead of "a short time". Formal sounding words score better when you are writing an academic essay such as the one in the task 2 test.

It's a great essay and you did really well. However, I want to point out some trivial mistakes.

Firstly, the sentence "... important one to be the cause: our demand."
You use "one" when you haven't mention about anything related to "our demand" before. I think "factor" is an alternative.

Secondly, "the diversity of different products", "diversity" is similar to "different". Two of them appear simultaneously is abundant, this will deteriorate your score because judge will think you can not use the language well.

Thirdly, "Advertising obviously boosts ... ", the word "boost" is so strained in this case when advertising can only show the advantages. I would use " Advertising obviously uncover the outstanding advantages of the goods".

Moreover, "it is not at all like what ...", "not at all" is meaningless here and should only used in spoken language. "not almost like" is another choice.

"it is considered fashionable ...". This is not a right phrase. The only phrase is " It is considered (that) + Clause". In this case, you should use "people" instead of "it".

One important thing is you should not use idioms like " steal the show". It is informal, so it isn't worth in writing. You also have some mistake in subject verb agreement like missing "s", you should reduce the length of your essay to have time to reread and figure out these.