Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


To preach a Sermon



ramonalford 2 / 1  
Jun 24, 2011   #1
Please help me and i need someone a proofread my essay, Thanks!

A good example is the best sermon as I may be presented as preaching to people. That will touch their hearts and new changes. This give people to be blessings for everything to teaching them to have new experiences. The symbol of poetic, racism, and the importance of education would affect people's lives saved.

My inspirational sermon poem that I would like to share with people realize their results are.
"It's Time"
Why repeat another cycle, when you can come. It is time now to get up and be about your father's business. It s your to show yourself approval unto god. It is time to pick up your bed and walk. It is time to walk in kingdom authority. It is time to speak those things that be not as though they were. It is time to increase your faith, without doubt and believe that God can do what he said he would do. It is time to possess the land. It is time to walk in divine power to the point when you walk by someone would get healed from your shadow. It's time to be saved, stayed saved and save someone else. It is time to think high (think outside the box). It is time to give god all the praise. Do not worry about whose looking get your praise on, your deliverance, decrease self and increase god. It is time to be a blessing to someone else. Especially those who can not repay you. It is time. It is overdue. Surrender now. Give your all to God. It's time to say yes lord. Yes to your will, yes to your way. Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes!

Racism is one of the biggest problems for people. My own wish is that we all can live in peace, love, respect each other and become the color people named "Race" and God wanted us to be understand "Love" mean everything to us. We are people to be part of community with strong bonds from different cultures; we could be one and act as one as human equality. Racism did a lot of horrible things the ways god create on earth. We are the people have variety of skin colors to treat each other in many ways; Racism means nothing at all. Like for example, We are colored people attend the same college, work at the same place of millions, the interracial marriage, and newborn babies as mixed races. No matter who or what we are; we have to believe in our races, cultures, and love.

In addition, importance of education is part of people's lives. To teach children and adult people to better understand the word of God and learn the subjects of general knowledge. To teach children have the opportunity to go to school and better life. To teach adult people how to be a good role model for children through wrong and right. To focus on their paths of actions to choose their careers and achievements. Math and English can be a challenge to learn how skills with the calculator and practice to write the alphabets for people in the world.

I preached a good sermon in the world to facing the people to open their hearts to listen. Even the represent of poetic, racism, and the importance of education shows the process of people's lives fresh new start on their step levels. Sermon is the best choice for people to fulfill satisfied with simplicity and to be accomplished.

amrosca 4 / 130  
Jun 27, 2011   #2
Hei Ramon! Sorry for the late answer.

Regarding the poem, I am the wrong person to ask ... I'm not really religious, so what you're saying doesn't move me at all.

I would however suggest to get rid of those very imperative or demanding parts like:

"It is time for you to seek God's approval." - That's why I also suggested this: "It is time for you to accept God." It sounds more pleasant.

"It is time to walk aware of kingdom's authority." - To me this sounds like we should be afraid of god and I don't think that's what you want to transmit.

"Surrender now." - This actually has the opposite effect on me than what you intended. And this point in your poem I just didn't care anymore.

However, it is your poem. Don't listen necessarily to what I'm saying. You can leave it as it is now.


Home / Writing Feedback / To preach a Sermon
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳