IELTS: The presented diagram depicts the steam production process using a gas cooled nuclear reactor

Hi, here I am try to explain a diagram process, hope get a meaningful feedback. Thankyou

Question :
The diagram below shows the production of steam using a gas cooled nuclear reactor. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.Write at least 150 words.

The presented diagram depicts the steam production process using a gas cooled nuclear reactor. Overall, the basic principle of the continuous cycle is to produce steam power. It can also be seen that there are two major parts of the machine; the reactor and the heat exchanger.

A closer looked to the diagram, from the heat exchanger the water passes through water circulator to a long tube, before being heated up into steam to be delivered to a turbo-alternator. The gas, which roles as the water heater gets into a gas blower on the cool gas duct, before going straight into the reactor to be heated. After that it flows back to the heat exchanger to heat up the water tube. Due to the heat exchange, the air is cooled and delivered into the cool gas duct to finish this circle. The reactor machine is contains of six essential part, which uranium element as the fuel for the machine. It is also wrapped by graphite moderators, with a number of charge tubes sticking into them.

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Hello, Novi. It is a pleasure to read your essay. Your writing style is almost similar to mine.
There are some problems with your essay such as repetitive words, the use of verbs, diction, and punctuation. This is normal because as a foreign language learner, our mother tongue comprehension affects the way we use the foreign language both spoken and written. Well, here are my corrections:

"The presented diagram depicts the steam production.."
"It can also be seen thatT here are two major parts of the machine.."
" A closer lookedAccording to the diagram, from the heat exchanger the water passes through water circulator to a long tube from the heat exchanger, before being heated up into steam to be delivered to a turbo-alternator."

"After that, it flows back.."
"..cool gas duct to finish this circlecycle."
"The reactor machine is containsconsists of six essential part, whichwith uranium element as the fuel for the machine ."
"It is also wrapped by graphite moderators, with a number of charge tubes sticking into them the moderators .

I wish you will participate actively in this forum. This will help you to gain valuable insights regarding the academic writing. Regards.

Hi Novi, here's my take on your analysis.

- Also, itIt can also

- A closer looked to the diagram,
- through a water circulator
- up into a steam
- After thathis process, t it flows
- The reactor machine is contains
- of six essential part,
- which are uranium element
- charge tubes stickinginserted into
- themthe machine .

There you have it Novi, I hope you will be able to follow through with the corrections made, you have to focus on the form of words that you use in your analysis, this is the key to write a better essay and to strengthen your approach on writing. The techniques of writing is learned as you practice writing and taking notes is also a very effective way of keeping your progress.

Should you need further assistance, don't hesitate to contact us.