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Privacy of celebrates on newspapers and magazines Ielts essay


leeminh 5 / 17 2  
Dec 8, 2012   #1
Many newspapers and magazines feature stories about the private lives of famous people. We know what they eat, where they buy their clothes and who they love. We also often see pictures of them in private situations. Is it appropriate for a magazine or newspaper to give this kind of private information about people?

In recent years the topic of privacy of celebrated people on magazines and newspapers is debate. Some people say it should be public to everyone, however I disagree with this attitude and believe these kinds of media should responsibility to what they write.

There are two compelling rationales which support the belief that all information of celebrates should be featured on newspapers and magazines. Firstly, supporters point to the fact that nowadays many favored people frequently use their money on charities and as a consequence, these activities lead to a few positive effects for our society akin to reducing of poverty rate and awakening human rights. Secondly, a lot of celebs have too much influence on juveniles who usually try to imitate their inspiring people, thus teenagers are taught a lot of effective abilities such as professional planning and open mind to name a few.

There may be some truth to the statement above, however this is overshadowed by the fact that today most of newspapers and magazines do their business for money and journalists keep going over their limitation. The purposes of managers are market share, therefore they choose negative ways to lure public attention. Paparazzi is a prime example, most of them pay attention into scandals and private pictures while their duties are find out appreciate news from famous people's daily actions, this results in ideological distortions of general public. Furthermore, in the current age some celebrates try to raise their popularity by breaking moral values, and then they certainly are focused by media. In order to do this, both of them media and celebs become underlying cause of decreasing moral values.

In conclusion, while it is clear that there are sound rationales which support both side of this discussion, I consider the assertion that newspaper and magazines should be put in a limitation. For the benefits of our society, it is necessary that we make proper decisions to create the best future possible.

It is really a difficult topic for me, please help me fix it. Thanks !!

April April 13 / 148 22  
Dec 8, 2012   #2
In recent years the topic of privacy of celebrated peoplecelebrities on magazines and newspapers is debatehighly debatable . Some people say it should be public to everyone, however I disagree with this attitude and believe these kinds of media should take responsibility tofor what they write.

decreasing moral values => you could replace this phrase with "decandence" to improve the vocab range for the essay

For the benefits of our society, it is necessary that we make proper decisions to create the best future possible. => I think this sentence is not really relevant to the topic discussed.
OP leeminh 5 / 17 2  
Dec 8, 2012   #3
April April
Thank you so much April !!

1. The word "akin" I thought it is similar with "like", was it wrong ??
2. did you mean decadence ??
3. yeah i think i should remove the last sentence, I added it because my conclusion was too short, so i thought i should add something in but it sounds foolish ^^, can you suggest a possible sentence ??
April April 13 / 148 22  
Dec 8, 2012   #4
1. The word "akin" I thought it is similar with "like", was it wrong ??

=> well i don't think they are the same. there are some other synonyms for "like": such as, for example, including, one of which is, for instance, namely,...

2. did you mean decadence ??

oh yes, sorry about the spelling mistake :D

As for the conclusion, you should paraphrase the rubric, then summarise what's been stated in the body, and perhaps add a conditional sentence at the end.

Here's my suggestion: "In conclusion, it goes without saying that the private lives of famous people are being put at the centre of public attention. However, I am of the opinion that such personal information should not be publicised on newspapers and magazines due to the latent decline in moral values and the fact that the media is making use of these stories in negative ways." Just a suggestion. Hope it helps.

By the way, the topic doesn't ask you to discuss both sides of the trend, it only asks you whether it is appropriate to do that, so I think you should focus on answering the question by giving reasons why you think it's not appropriate in the body, not what the positive effects of this trend are (the first body para).

Best
OP leeminh 5 / 17 2  
Dec 8, 2012   #5
thanks again ^^ your suggestion is really helpful
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Dec 8, 2012   #6
In recent years the topic of privacy of celebrated people on magazines and newspapers is debate

The topic of privacy of celebrities on magazines and newspapers has sparked a heated debate in the recent past.

Some people say it should be public to everyone, however I disagree with this attitude and believe these kinds of media should responsibility to what they write.

Some people believe that it should be public. I, however, disagree with this idea. The media should be responsible for what they write.

Firstly, supporters point to the fact that nowadays many favored people frequently use their money on charities and as a consequence, these activities lead to a few positive effects for our society akin to reducing of poverty rate and awakening human rights.

The sentence is too long nad it might confuse the reader. Try to break it down to 2 parts at least.


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