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"Private Me" essay - need help on editing and a conclusion.



stef777 6 / 6  
Dec 8, 2008   #1
this essay is about things i do not think people know about me. thank you

Private Me



I am a person who does not exactly tell people all about myself. There are some things people do not know about me. Like the activities I do, the topics I am interested in, the movies I like, the music I listen to, or even that I have to wear reading glasses, that I am in both my high school choir and my church choir, also that I am German, Polish, and Croatian, or that even play video games like crazy and understand what W.A.S.D. means.

An activity I absolutely love to do, and every summer I pray that my family does it is: white water rafting. The adrenalin that pumps through my body when the raft is about to hit the rapid, it is insane! There are some ups and downs to white water rafting though. The ups are it is really fun; you get to spend time with friends, family, or whomever; also it is a fun activity to do if you have never done it before. Now comes the down part about white water rafting, it is very dangerous, people have gotten killed doing this; you absolutely have to listen to the person who is leading the raft, this person knows what he or she is doing and can keep you safe, and in the raft.

One year my mom fell out of the raft at the second most dangerous part of the whole river, 'Pinball.' It was probably the scarcest event in my life. My mom had gone under the raft after she had fallen out. As soon as we saw her head pop up my dad, your present exchange student, and I pulled her in immediately.

The next time we went was with the same exchange student that came last time with us was visiting and he had bought his mom with him this time. We had also bought one of our family friends who was only a couple years older than me. Luckily, no one fell out that year.

Another thing people may not know about me is I sleep with a stuffed animal still. The reason that I still sleep with him is because he had used to be my grandpa's who had pasted away. My grandpa was diagnosed with Alzheimer Disease in 1995 and Parkinson Disease around the same time.

February 14, 2005 my grandpa had pasted away. But a couple of days before I had given my grandpa a doll he had given me for Christmas one year when I was younger while he was in the hospital. What was so special about this doll was he had picked it out all by himself, normally my grandma would have gone out the get the presents for everyone, but nope my grandpa picked this doll just for me all by himself. When he had pasted away my mom had brought the doll back to me and had also bought with a stuffed animal of a dog. My mom had said that my grandma thought I would like this and I could have if I wanted it, and if I did not like it to give it back to her. Of course, I took the stuffed animal and about every night since then I have slept with my stuffed animal.

The last pretty serious thing I think people do not know about me is I like Star Wars and a pretty significant amount of ScFi related movies, shows, etc. I have gone to two midnight shows of Star War movies. I love how funny it is how people dress up the characters in the movies and go to the movie theaters like that. Also I like how I get to miss the next day of school if I go to midnight showings. I really do not know exactly why I like Star Wars so much; think I would have to give all the credit to both my dad and my brother for getting me so interested in it.

So it is evident that though these points that not everyone knows everything about me.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Dec 9, 2008   #2
There are some things people do not know about me, such as the activities I do, the topics I am interested in, the movies I like, the music I listen to, or even that I have to wear reading glasses. Most people do not know that I am in both my high school choir and my church choir, also that I am German, Polish, and Croatian, that I play video games like crazy, or that I understand what W.A.S.D. means.

An activity I absolutely love every summer is white water rafting. The adrenalin that pumps through my body when the raft is about to hit the rapid, it is insane!

The next time we went, we were with the same exchange student that came with us last time, and he had brought his mom with him this time. We had also brought one of our family friends who was only a couple years older than me. Luckily, no one fell out that year.

Another thing people may not know about me is I still sleep with a stuffed animal. The reason that I still sleep with him is because he had used to be my grandpa's, and he has passed away. My grandpa was diagnosed with Alzheimer Disease in 1995 and Parkinson Disease around the same time.

February 14, 2005 my grandpa passed away.

You seem like a great person!
OP stef777 6 / 6  
Dec 9, 2008   #3
thank you this helped!


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