IELTS; Problem with tutoring job/ issue with part-time job

I would appreciate very much for any help to comment on or correct my letter. Thank you in the first place!!

You recently took a part-time job working for a local company. After a few weeks you realised there were some problems with the job.

Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter
- explain why you took the job
- describe the problems that you experienced
- suggest what could be done about them.

Dear Sir,
I am currently working as an afternoon primary school tutor at your company, started working five weeks ago. I am writing to you about the issue I encountered during the work.

I decided to take the position of a tutoring specialist as it could significantly assist my career development in child teaching and also improve my communication skill with kids. Unfortunately, my plan did not go smoothly as there were some obstacles in the way.

There was another tutor in my group to handle the homework of forty pupils together. He was regularly an hour late to work, claiming that there was always traffic congestion problems, and took frequent personal leaves without noticing in advance. These kinds of behavior seriously increased my burden to teach the children and manage the classroom discipline properly at the same time.

I hope you consider the situation as it is getting worse. It would be nice if a senior manager of your rank could rectify his attitude to avoid making negative impact on the others.

Yours sincerely,

Hi,you organized fairly well,but you would have mentioned some other difficulties.Here you are complaining about particular teacher,you would have mentioned other problems,like lack of sports facility or toilets are not appropriate.Furthermore,you can use present tens

1)"He was regularly an hour late to work, claiming that there was always traffic congestion problems". you would restructure sentence like this
suggestion : There is another tutor in my group,he persistently comes late every day with an alibi of traffic conjunction"

2) and took frequent personal leaves without noticing in advance
suggestion :He takes leave with out prior notice.These above mentioned problems are significantly hindering my personal attention to pupils and causing tremendous burden on students and other teaching staff,including me.

PLEASE READ MY INPUT and your feed back is valuable especailly grammartical mistakes.

Dear Sir,

Five weeks ago I was hired as a part-time afternoon primary school tutor at your school. As I have mentioned to you during the job interview that one of the reasons I wanted the teaching position is to develop my career path. I really enjoy working with the children, this job have given me the opportunity to learn new communication skills with my students.

My understanding as a manger your duty is to ensure all the tutors are responsible to teacher the students with proper manners in a healthy environment. It's also my obligation to ask for advice if I have any concerns. Recently I noticed one of my colleague in the same group have been late to work or leaving early that happened very frequently. He told us due to traffic's congestion. I found that it's unfair for the children and I when tutor is not punctual to work. If I am alone teaching a large class with extra workloads I might not able to provide good care for the students. That will definitely damage the school reputation as well as the student progress.

I hope you can help me to resolve this problem to prevent further misunderstanding.

Your sincerely,

Hi jaijagadeesh,

You have an affluent set of vocabularies. I've learnt so much from you... thank you very much!!

Hi Jeecee,

I have corrected some grammatical mistakes, however the essay itself is quite conversational and my advice is to rewrite in a more formal tone.

Dear Sir,

Five weeks ago I was hired as a part-time afternoon primary school tutor at your school. As I have mentioned to you during the job interview that one of the reasons I wanted the teaching position is to develop my career path. I really enjoy working with the children, and this job have given me the opportunity to learn new communication skills with my students.

My understanding as a mana ger at your duty is to ensure that all the tutors are responsible to teacher the students with proper manners in a healthy environment. It's also my obligation to ask for advice if I have any concerns. Recently I noticed one of my colleagues in the same group have been late to work or leaving early that happened very frequently. He told us that it is due to traffic's congestion. I found that it's unfair for the children and Ime when tutor is not punctual to work. If I am alone teaching a large class with extra workloads I might not able to provide good care for the students. That will definitely damage the school reputation as well as the student progress.

I hope you can help me to resolve this problem to prevent further misunderstanding.

Your sincerely,