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Proportion of older and young people in the society



Arlen 20 / 37  
Nov 20, 2017   #1
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

human population by age



According to census that in some countries, the population of young adults is much more than older people. In my opinion, I think this phenomenon brings more advantages than disadvantages and my reasons are following.

Firstly, it benefits the economic. The youth can do more labor jobs than the old, especially in some physical-oriented industry. The number of young people illustrates the workforce and the larger number demonstrates the more productivity. Also, less old people means the lighten burden of young generation has to be responsible to. It can let young people concentrate on contributing to develop economic.

The second advantage of more young people than old people is that the young generation absorb new knowledge efficiently. They born in internet era, which makes them get used to share and obtain information globally. They can get rid of tradition and bad policy easily. With fresh idea and high-tech, the youth creative progressed society.

However, it cannot be denied that the contribution made by senior people with experience from life or professional. They are suitable to the position of decision maker. Therefore, they can pass their experience to the next generation, in order to create a brighter future.

To sum up, although old people have their value to the country, young adults dedicate more energy and pour innovation into the society. That is why I think the advantages of this situation far outweigh the disadvantages.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Nov 21, 2017   #2
Arlen, while your opening statement is a somewhat accurate depiction of the original prompt, it falls under the minimum sentence requirement for the complete paragraph by one sentence. So expect a lower C&C score in the overall consideration. Your first sentence should have been separated by a period instead of a comma.

You have a problem with sentence clarity that will affect your C&C score as well. In the second paragraph, your last 2 sentences do not have a clear topic and meaning. It leaves the reader wondering about what you are trying to say. Your third paragraph has a missing connecting word between "They" and "born". The missing word is "are". This creates a stressful situation for the reader which will then lower your GRA score.

Your concluding paragraph is acceptable and has accurately closed the essay. You managed to get the essence of the overall discussion into the final summary which shows that you know how to appropriately close these sorts of essay.


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