Proportions of males and females - practising to write essays on interpretation of charts

Hello, I am practising to write essays on interpretation of charts. I have attempted two questions and I would appreciate any comments or feedbacks.

The chart for the first one is as below:

My attempt:

The graph compares the proportions of males and females in the highest qualification achieved for working age of population between 2001 and 2002.

Males recorded the highest percentage for GCE A Level or equivalent while females recorded the highest percentage for GCSE grade A*-C or equivalent. Besides that, the difference in percentage between males and females was the largest for GCE A level or equivalent. In contrast, the least difference between the two genders was recorded for other qualifications. For higher education qualification, both genders recorded the lowest percentage. Both genders recorded no less than 20% for no qualifications. More males hold a degree or equivalent while more females hold no qualifications.

The percentage for no qualifications would decline and the percentage for degree or equivalent would increase in the future because of the rising demand of workers with higher qualifications.

I find that my essay is not long enough. How can I elaborate more from the graph?

The second chart is as below: Second chart

I am trying to come up with a good introduction and I have come up with two introduction. I am wondering which would fit best and if neither of them would, then please kindly advise.

1. The pie-chart compares the proportions of males and females in some of the employment patterns in Great Britain in the 1990s.

2. The pie-chart illustrates some of the employment pattern between males and females in Great Britain in the 1990s.

Thank you
Charles

How about saying -

This pie chart provides insight into the 1990's male and female employee patterns in Great Britain.

The graph compares the proportions of males and females in the highest qualification achieved for working age of population between 2001 and 2002. ---- the word "in" is not so good.

The graph compares the proportions of males and females in of the highest qualification achieved for working age of population between 2001 and 2002.

For higher education qualification, both genders were represented among those of the lowest percentage.

2. The pie-chart illustrates some of the employment patterns among males and females in Great Britain in the 1990s.

I think you are doing very well! When you get stuck and don't know what to write, it helps to think about a purpose for examining these charts. Imagine that you are trying to make a policy decision for government, or something like that, so that you can analyze charts purposefully.