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The Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types. Can you help me on this IELTS 1?


Honghanh2710 1 / -  
May 17, 2021   #1
The table shows the Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types Between Between 2000 and 2009.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.



Answer :

The table indicates the number of students attending four kinds of secondary school from 2000 to 2009.

Generally, there was a notable decline in the number of students who applied for Voluntary-controlled schools, as well as in specialist schools, and grammar school. In contrast, the percent of students studying in community schools rose significantly over the period.

Firstly, as taking a closer look at the number of voluntary-controlled school attendants, it is apparent that the percentage made up more than a half of the total number of students at 52% in 2000, but then decreased prominently to 38% in 2005 and reached its bottom at 20% in 2009. Meanwhile, number of attendants in community schools which just accounted for a small part of 12% at the beginning of the period increased greatly to 32% in 2005 and became the majority of the school attendants for 58% in 2009.

On the other hand, similar to voluntary-controlled schools, the amount of specialist schools and grammar schools students also decreased gradually through time, as the percentage of specialist schools pupils slightly dropped from 12% to 10% in 2009 and grammar schools' fell a bit faster from 24% to 12% in the period.



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,868 4791  
May 18, 2021   #2
Give a more defined description of the table. Indicate the number of rows and columns as these will help with the creation of the mental picture of the provided image. Do not rely on an over statement, rather than trending statement to make up the summary over view. Start the comparisons in the second paragraph. Based on the info provided, this should be completed asa 4 paragraph report. That means, you should combine the trending statement in the summary overview. That type of presentation will help you meet the 3 sentence per paragraph.

As for the rest of your paragraphs, you do not really have an analysis presented in each. Rather, you created run-on sentences of data. The presentations do not have a clear analysis presented as the focus was only on quick information dissemination as opposed to a thorough comparison per year for each section. This presentation nor resulted in missing punctuation marks, which means several GRA deductions will be made along with C&C reductions.

This a good effort. You know how to present information but, you need to work on the clear analysis part since that is a major skill requirement for higher studies in the US, UK, Australia, and other parts of the Western and European hemisphere.


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