Proportions of workers in three different fields in South Korea - TASK 1

the chart illustrates the proportions of workers in three different fields in South Korea in thirty years between 1981 and 2011.

Overall, it is evident that the proportions of workers fluctuated significantly each day. However, the proportions of workers in services experienced a substantial growth, while agriculture and industry exhibited both declined trends.

Now let us examine the most notable fluctuation in worker proportions of workers rose gradually, growing from nearly 30 percent to 35 percent, reaching a peak of 35 percent in 1991.Subsequently, it decreased to nearly the same level as 1981. In agriculture the percentage of workers in 2011 dropped approximately three quarters of the proportions of workers in 1981, from more than 30 percent to nearly 5 percent.

In contrast, there was a significant increase in services between 1981 and 2011, the proportions of workers showed a continuous growth from nearly 40 percent to 70 percent, indicating that the service sector expanded continuously.

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Make sure that you follow the English writing rules. The first word of every sentence, specifically, the first word of every paragraph, must be written with the first letter capitalized.

As this is an analytical essay, the writer is not allowed to use pronoun references in the presentation. That is because of the need to remain unbiased in the writing. It is important to remain neutral in the presentation. Additionally, the reader will not have access to the image so you cannot ask them to look at any reference.

The summary overview is missing information in relation to the provided image. A run down of the listed reference points must be provided as a part of the complete summarized information.

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i think this essay has a basic structure, starting with an overview and moving into more specific details about each field. However, there are some mistakes that you had better rephrase for better flow like "the proportions of workers rose gradually, growing from nearly 30 percent to 35 percent, reaching a peak of 35 percent in 1991" could be more clearly stated. The repetition of "35 percent" is awkward and should be rephrased.