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IELTS Task II : Pros and cons of Credit card


SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Feb 17, 2014   #1
dear essayers
Please kindly comment about my coherence and cohesion. I also opened for grammatical correction.

Nowadays it is easy to apply for and be given a credit card. However, some people-experience problems when they are not be able to pay their debts back. In your opinion, do the advantages of credit cards outweigh the advantages?

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Throughout the world credit card using is such a dweller lifestyle. Obviously, it is helpful enough for people to pay all of their basics. However, the economists reckon that credit card merely influence people to be consumptive for something not otherwise exist and tending people not able to pay back their debt. In my opinion the cons of credit card far outweigh the pros.

Credit card facilitates people to access money easily. This is related to unlimited transaction that banking provides for their customer. The feature is very helpful in order to emergency using such as in charge of baby birth or tuition fee paying. Credit card is also benefited for expensive paying in the short term embody in a peak season holiday paying. In this term people races booked the services they need while increasing prices commonly occur. Moreover, Credit card is such a save way to pay. It is simplifying our life that no needs to bring lots of cash everywhere. Hence, for busy people they can complete several transactions with one card in their hand.

On the contrary, credit card encourages people to spend money they do not have. Holding credit card raises consumerism to buy several things in order to fulfill their pleasure. People often forget about their ability to pay because unconsciously they shops with unlimited service which credit card gives. Those problems raise debt and also financial difficulty in the back. As an effect for applicant they cannot pay the debt and also lost their assets embody home, vehicles, jewelry while bank also influenced by this disturbance. As the enormous effect all of economical process suffering.

In sum, I believe that two poles always followed in a phenomenon. Related to credit card using people should be brake and distinct themselves for kind of payment they do properly.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Feb 18, 2014   #2
First, I've got a small admin request for you - Your IELTS essays should be opened in Writing Feedback forum. (This was transferred from Essay Term papers)

Throughout the world credit card using is such a dweller lifestyle

This sentence is not written well...it has issues with grammar and clarity :( Try to present your hook is a more simple and interesting way;

Throughout the world, usage of credit cards has become a part of everybody's lifestyle.

Obviously, it is helpful enough for people to pay all of their basics.

Obviously, it is a very helpful and efficient solution for making payments that helps us avoid the inconvenience of carrying bulk cash.

. However, the economists reckon that credit card merely influence people to be consumptive

Why you drag economists into this scenario? Your prompt is a very simple one which talks about what average people sometimes experience with credit cards. Do not introduce your topic to give a different interpretation of your topic. Try to introduce it in its original sense.
OP SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Feb 18, 2014   #3
Why you drag economists into this scenario? Your prompt is a very simple one which talks about what average people sometimes experience with credit cards. Do not introduce your topic to give a different interpretation of your topic. Try to introduce it in its original sense.

I do not want to make any objection. I just want to share my writing process. In the beginning I want to make link for debatable thesis statement, because the topic is in economy field so I try to altered "some people", "some sayings", "some thoughts" or "critics" with economist. Overall, the most important that how far reader understand about my writing

Yap as your previous advice, I should simplify my idea to avoid the deviation from the prompt.
Thank you in advance, Dumi :D
Arun0506 27 / 120 34  
Feb 18, 2014   #4
Credit card is such a save way to pay

Credit card is such a safe / secure way to make payment.

People often forget about their ability to pay because unconsciously they shops with unlimited service which credit card gives. Those problems raise debt and also financial difficulty in the back.

More often people failure to be conscious to their financial status while using credit cards which will later led them to be in deep trouble during repayment of credit card bills.

As the enormous effect all of economical process suffering.

As a result of / Due to which people end up in huge financial crunch

Dumi has given some good advice which will really works for everyone here.

In addition to that, try to use noun phrase to make your sentence more interesting which is what examiners are looking for
eg : Deep Trouble instead of saying simply trouble
Highly beneficial, Huge debt, To large extent. Unexpected emergency situations etc ..

You have a good range of vocabulary, just align them into simply sentences appropriately.
Hope my advice may be helpful. Good Luck!!!
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Feb 18, 2014   #5
In addition to that, try to use noun phrase to make your sentence more interesting which is what examiners are looking for
eg : Deep Trouble instead of saying simply trouble
Highly beneficial, Huge debt, To large extent. Unexpected emergency situations etc ..

This is great advice :)
On the contrary, credit card encourages people to spend money on things they do not have any real need.

Holding credit card raises consumerism to buy several things in order to fulfill their pleasure.

The previous sentence means the same and therefore this one becomes redundant. Better leave this sentence out.

. Holding credit card raises consumerism to buy several things in order to fulfill their pleasure. People often forget about their ability to pay because unconsciously they shops with unlimited service which credit card gives.

Also, this is about how credit cards influence people to get tempted with their buying decisions.
OP SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Feb 19, 2014   #6
In addition to that, try to use noun phrase to make your sentence more interesting which is what examiners are looking for

yap, in my way Arun, thank you for nice advice.I need more when do it in writing

The previous sentence means the same and therefore this one becomes redundant . Better leave this sentence out.

Also, this is about how credit cards influence people to get tempted with their buying decisions.

Yuhu Pahan, thank you
lyranguyenhoai - / 1  
Feb 23, 2014   #7
Am I wrong if thinking that 'pros and cons' would be more suitable in speaking rather than writing?. I read from somewhere that in writing we should use more formal words like 'advantages and drawbacks'. I am a new comer here.
OP SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Feb 25, 2014   #8
hi, Linh

I read from somewhere that in writing we should use more formal words like 'advantages and drawbacks'.I am a new comer here .

It does't matter. I am new comer also. I am appreciate that you give me a new information about word using. Thank you :)
niesaysi 16 / 284 83  
Mar 22, 2014   #9
Obviously, it simplifies and very helpful solutions for making payment that help us avoid carrying bulk cash, while the opponents argued the credit card advantages which influenced people onto simplicity shopping may result huge debts.

Obviously, it immensely helps us for making payment and alleviates carrying bulk cash ; however, the opponents argue that simple shopping using credit card may result to huge debts.

For example, card is such the best solution for emergency hospital payment or deadline tuition fee payment. In any case of peak holiday payment, people also need to race for booking suitable services whereas the price fluctuated in minute.

Great examples!

..it is beneficial to complete the transaction with one card inon their hand.
This choosingchoice is due to simplicity and safety reasons. "Choosing" is nevertheless correct, but "choice" is pragmatically correct.
Credit card may effects consumerism.
While people freely to purchase what they want as unlimited transaction occurred, the unconsciousness of their financial status will later lea d them onto deep trouble during...
OP SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Mar 23, 2014   #10
Thank you, Jhonies

Choosing" is nevertheless correct, but "choice" is pragmatically correct.

Your advices is all what I need

Obviously, it immensely helps us for making payment and alleviates carrying bulk cash ; however, the opponents argue that simple shopping using credit card may result to huge debts.

This is related to my effort toavoid verb "to be" using and make an concise essay. :D thank you


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