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Essay about a personal quality(ies) that I have and am proud of



RChodavadia 2 / 5  
Jul 21, 2011   #1
Thoughts and critiques are very appreciated! Grammar mistakes, awkward wording, anything you can think of that you think would fit better, don't be hesitant to say it. Thanks in advance!

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

The measure of the impossibility of an idea is directly correlated to the amount of will someone has to believe the impossible, is in fact, possible. This is an idea that I have held onto throughout the course of my existence. The impossibility of something regardless of what topic or subject it concerns, is what I strive to combat. I aim to succeed past these limits placed by society, and seek to carve my own path through this journey known as life. In order to advance beyond this seemingly unclimbable barrier, one must have power. However, unlike the more common definition, power in this case is the power to think differently than others; the power to change and fix the world's problems that other would see as unachievable. As I have grown in age as well as mind, my desire to accomplish my dreams and goals has not diminished. The ability to never surrender to the clutches of incompetency and failure continues to fuel my will to attain my dreams and aspirations. After spending an immeasurable time in hospitals, watching not only other patients, but also family members and close relatives, I had an incessant urge to help those in need. I began to join many non-profit organizations and volunteered as much as I could, in spite of whether I would get community service hours for it or not. Even when my will was tested through the many trials and tribulations that come with the journey through life, I continued to fight through the strain and the stress. Having both the qualities of compassion towards those in need and a perpetual ambition to attain and surpass the impossible, is what drives me through this strenuous journey of life. Ultimately, if I am able to help mankind in any way, shape, or form, then my life as well as my dreams will be fulfilled.

stephaniealfl 3 / 5  
Jul 22, 2011   #2
One word...Wow. lol.
I found this really interesting and entertaining to read. It is very good. If you're writing this to answer a question on a volunteer application, I'm sure this is more than what they're asking for. Just make sure your other answers on the application are as profound as this, so it wont look weird. GL.
OP RChodavadia 2 / 5  
Jul 22, 2011   #3
Thank you so much! This is actually one of the prompts for the UC application. For anyone else reading this thread, any other suggestions on things to change etc. would be appreciated as well!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Jul 23, 2011   #4
The measure of the impossibility of an idea is directly correlated ---no, the measure is not corelated. The level of impossibility is.
The impossibility of an idea is directly inversely correlated to the amount of will someone has to believe the impossible is in fact possible. --I took out some commas.

This is an idea that I have held onto throughout the course of my existence. Not a necessary sentence. Besides, you did not always have this idea! You existed as a baby, for example.

The impossibility of something, regardless of what topic or subject it concerns, is what I strive to combat. I aim to succeed past these limits placed by society, and seek to carve my own path through this journey known as life. let's not belabor the point.

In order to advance beyond this a seemingly unclimbable barrier, one must have power. However, unlike the more common definition, power in this case is the power to think differently than others; the power to change and fix the world's problems that other would see as unachievable. As I have grown in age as well as mind, my desire to accomplish my dreams and goals has not diminished. ---Okay, i want to know what they are! The goals are the driving forces that motivate you.

The ability to never surrender to the clutches of incompetency and failure continues to fuel my will to attain my dreams and aspirations. ---Okay, what are they!?

Ultimately, if I am able to help mankind in any way, shape, or form, then my life as well as my dreams will be fulfilled.---Can you be more specific!?

:-) The essay is about believing nothing is impossible, achieving goals, etc. That is great, but I think you should explain WHAT is so important to you that you have this perseverance.


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