Please comment on the following argumentative GRE essay. This is my first attempt at it. Please provide feedback specially in relation to whether I have answered the essay task or whether I have gone tangentially.
Essay task-
The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company.
According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in any other year. And yet the percentage of positive reviews by movie reviewers about specific Super Screen movies actually increased during the past year. Clearly, the contents of these reviews are not reaching enough of our prospective viewers. Thus, the problem lies not with the quality of our movies but with the public's lack of awareness that movies of good quality are available. Super Screen should therefore allocate a greater share of its budget next year to reaching the public through advertising.
My essay
The argument stated in the paragraph does not make a very persuasive case. While its believable that a share of movie-goers may not be aware of the quality movies available at the Super Screen movies, it does not seem likely that this is the sole reason for the fewer foottfall at the cinema in the past year.
Before arriving at the conclusion that funding for advertising should be increased so that more movie goers come to know that there are quality movies available at Super screen movies, one must answer a few questions to evaluate the veracity of this assumption. First, the production company must find if any new cinema has opened in the neighborhood where Super screen movies is. It is probable that a new movie theatre with better amenities could give a stiff competition to an old movie theatre. One must also find if any existing cinema theatre in the city has, in the past year acquired better sound or picture technology or has done infrastructural renovation. Cinema viewers value the complete experience and sometimes watching a quality movie is just a part of it.
Secondly the production company must also find out if during the last year, people have been exposed to an alternate home movie watching experience for example, the blu-ray. Many erstwhile cinema goers now swear by the visual appeal of the blu-ray DVDs. They also realize that its more convenient and economical than going to a movie theatre. In such cases, usually the home movie watching increases after the advent of the new technology but when the newly aroused interest fades away, cinema lovers resume going to movie theatres. So Super screen movie should observe the trend of attendance for a few years before forming any conclusions.
Answering the aforementioned questions will help the Super screen movie to find the real cause of fewer attendees. It would prevent them from wasting money on unnecessary advertising when the real problem may lie elsewhere like improving infrastructure, amenities, technology etc.
Essay task-
The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company.
According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in any other year. And yet the percentage of positive reviews by movie reviewers about specific Super Screen movies actually increased during the past year. Clearly, the contents of these reviews are not reaching enough of our prospective viewers. Thus, the problem lies not with the quality of our movies but with the public's lack of awareness that movies of good quality are available. Super Screen should therefore allocate a greater share of its budget next year to reaching the public through advertising.
My essay
Super Screen-produced movies attendance
The argument stated in the paragraph does not make a very persuasive case. While its believable that a share of movie-goers may not be aware of the quality movies available at the Super Screen movies, it does not seem likely that this is the sole reason for the fewer foottfall at the cinema in the past year.
Before arriving at the conclusion that funding for advertising should be increased so that more movie goers come to know that there are quality movies available at Super screen movies, one must answer a few questions to evaluate the veracity of this assumption. First, the production company must find if any new cinema has opened in the neighborhood where Super screen movies is. It is probable that a new movie theatre with better amenities could give a stiff competition to an old movie theatre. One must also find if any existing cinema theatre in the city has, in the past year acquired better sound or picture technology or has done infrastructural renovation. Cinema viewers value the complete experience and sometimes watching a quality movie is just a part of it.
Secondly the production company must also find out if during the last year, people have been exposed to an alternate home movie watching experience for example, the blu-ray. Many erstwhile cinema goers now swear by the visual appeal of the blu-ray DVDs. They also realize that its more convenient and economical than going to a movie theatre. In such cases, usually the home movie watching increases after the advent of the new technology but when the newly aroused interest fades away, cinema lovers resume going to movie theatres. So Super screen movie should observe the trend of attendance for a few years before forming any conclusions.
Answering the aforementioned questions will help the Super screen movie to find the real cause of fewer attendees. It would prevent them from wasting money on unnecessary advertising when the real problem may lie elsewhere like improving infrastructure, amenities, technology etc.
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