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Rate and comment on my argumentative essay for GRE- Late night television news viewership decline

xin 2 / 4  
Nov 1, 2017   #1
Please provide feedback on the following argumentative essay that I have attempted in the given time frame of 30 minutes. Please comment especially in relation to whether I have fulfilled the task entailed in the prompt. Your insightful comments will be appreciated. Please refrain from pointing spelling or grammatical errors unless they are glaring. Thank you!

The memorandum from tv station

The memorandum from the television station states that to increase viewership, it should restore the time devoted to weather and local news to its former level. The argument stated in the memorandum does not make for a cogent case and is rife with assumptions not backed by solid evidence.

First, nowhere in the memorandum, it is stated that since increasing time to national news and decreasing it to weather and local news, the viewership has decreased. The television station has received complaints from viewers regarding the coverage of weather and local news but it can not be inferred from this that some or many viewers stopped watching the late night program.

Also, sufficient conclusion about the number of complaints can not be drawn from statement issued by the television station. It could be just a handful or many but we don't know from the statement alone. Also, the content of complaints is also not very clear from the statement. Whether the complainants disliked the brevity of weather and local news or its quality, we can not be sure. Further survey among the late night program viewers is required to know for sure they are really unhappy about the change of duration of the TV programs.

Second, local businesses that cancelled the advertising contract with the television station did so because of increased time to national news, is not very clear from statement. The memorandum should have included statements from the local businesses themselves to arrive at this assumption. One can also not be sure of the number of contracts that were cancelled from this statement alone.

In conclusion, strong evidence is needed to support the conclusion stated in the memorandum that time devoted to weather and local news should be restored to its former level. As it stands, the argument does not make for a persuasive case. The television station must also verify, if at all there has been a viewership decline. Only when such evidence is achieved through viewer surveys and interviews from local businesses can the argument stated in the memorandum be strengthened.

Holt [Contributor] - / 7,643 2028  
Nov 2, 2017   #2
Hi Somya, this essay is a far cry from the first one that you wrote. This one shows a clear understanding of the article that you were given for analysis. Your comparison and discussion points were well on the mark. You displayed a clear analysis for every point delivered in the article and your opinions show that you took the time to consider the best method of discussion to prove your points. The representative arguments are enough to create holes in the original arguments. The reader will definitely find himself pondering the discussion presentations you made. This is a highly improved version of a GRE essay on your part. I would not have believed that this essay was written by the same person who made a mistake with the movie production discussion. Good work. Save for the imperfect grammar, which pulled your score down, I would rate this essay at least a 5. Keep up the good work. Focus on improving your sentence structure and vocabulary presentations in your succeeding practice tests.
OP xin 2 / 4  
Nov 2, 2017   #3
Thank you Mary Rose. Its reviewers like you who make essayforum so valuable for us GRE takers. I noted your feedback in my earlier essay and made special effort to understand what was being asked in the essay task. If not for your feedback, I would have sped past the statement and prompt in a hurry to start writing my essay and would have probably made the same mistake again.

Thanks again for your earlier remarks!
rumihumaira 4 / 12  
Nov 4, 2017   #4
Hi, this essay is already good but there are some tiny english mistakes in term of grammar and typos. GRE doesn't score based on English skill, of course, but its better to avoid mistakes.

And forgive me if i'm wrong but I think GRE word limit is a bit longer. You can write more to include more examples and points to support your arguments :)

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