Hi, please help me fix my essay. especially my grammar. thanks. i am really bad in writing so please bear with me. we were asked to write a reaction to the hotel we just visited. thanks!=D
Hotel Reaction Paper and Review
Great food, friendly staff, cozy and high tech rooms, complete facilities, nearby malls, and everything you would ask for in your second home is in the famous and first-class, The Peninsula, Manila. Even though I only got to experience the cheapest but also of high-class room, I enjoyed the glamour of the place and felt like a very important guest.
First to talk about is the food. "Wow!" I think this expression summarizes everything about the food in The Peninsula. First we had is their pastry, tea and coffee. The croissant was really delicious, the coffee was great and the cookies were perfect. I even learned from Tracy, one of the hotel's trainees (if I'm not mistaken), that their pastries were being purchased by other hotels and restaurants. At Nielsen's, we had our sumptuous breakfast. Almost every kind of breakfast food was served in the buffet. I was amazed by the Japanese food, delicious juices of every kind, and the unfamiliar fruits that taste so good, not to mention the excellent staff that assisted us. My stay at Nielsen's was really awesome and satisfying.
Next are the friendly employees. The moment I arrived at the hotel, I was very nervous and insecure of how I look and present myself because of the formal environment of The Peninsula. Thanks to one of the staff who opened the car's door and greeted me with a friendly voice that making me feel much better. He gave me a sense of belongingness and because he is smiling at me, I smiled back which made me feel more relaxed. Same goes with the employees whom I met along the beautifully designed corridors. Even when they carry heavy loads and busy meeting the guests' needs, they did not miss to greet and welcome me with a smile. When I was in the lobby and needed someone to take our pictures, one of the employees volunteered to do so. He took good pictures capturing the hotel's beauty and elegance. The hotel really chose only the best people for their guests.
Last, but definitely not the least, is the room and everything in it. The appliances and lightings, which could be modified to set the mood, were so easy to access. Everything, including the room service is just a button and a phone call away. For a night I felt that I was in control of everything. And the bathroom was brilliant. The bath tub, shower, toilet, and all I needed were there. I even listened to music inside while taking a bath. Extravagance is what I call it.
The Peninsula Manila is no wonder one of the most visited hotel in the country. With all the things I have mentioned above and a lot more that words can no longer explain, the hotel is indeed one of the best in giving the most important product of hospitality, good service. Not only have they taken good care of their guests but their employees as well. I had proven this when Tracy showed us the places behind the glamour and luxury of the hotel. I was so glad to meet welcoming staff who enjoy systematize facilities, clean and organize workplace. Because of this, the comfort experienced by the staff was reflected to the way they serve the guests, with sincerity and care. Even though the stay was a bit pricey, I am very glad to say that I was very satisfied with their service and the hotel was worth every penny. Nothing but the best remarks for The Peninsula, Manila.Hey I think you did good with this essay. I didn't see any puncuation errors, although I'm not the greatest at them either. I like how you organized your essay.
The only thing I saw that MIGHT be wrong is the second to last sentence of your entire essay: "Because of this,..."
I was always instructed not to begin a sentence with "Because", "But, and "and". If you know other wise however, please share.
Actually, you can use "because" to begin a sentence, as long as it is used to begin a dependent clause that links to an independent one. This is true of all subordinating conjunctions. It's only coordinating conjunctions, such as "and" and "or," that cannot be used to start a sentence. And even that rule is true only in the strictest grammatical sense, and may be violated for stylistic reasons by an experience writer.
"Even though I only got to experience the cheapest but also of the high-class rooms "
"First to talk about is the food." This does not make sense. Revise. in fact, none of your introductory/transition statements really works as is. Try to expand them a bit.
