Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Reading fiction (such as novels and short stories) is more enjoyable than watching movies.



Novi Sri W 1 / -  
Feb 26, 2014   #1
Entertainment is important to eliminate stress. Nowadays, libraries and theaters( have) become favorite places for some people to get entertaiment. People, who like reading, come go to( the) library and others who like watching movies come go to theater. I would hesistate( hesitate) to answer. In the following paragraphs, i ( I)will analyze both these options and present my view.

( New Paragraph)From the one side, reading fiction such as novels and short stories brings you to other lives. For instance, i ( I) was reading ( a)novel( comma) "Hunger Games Trilogy" that is( a) science fiction novels which tell(s) the story about a girl ( who)must survive in severe poverty, hunger, oppression, and ( the) impact of war. She pushed ( the) rules from capitol to program each year to arrange a game. The game is Hunger Games. Story that novel has a lot of trouble interesting to make reader curious to read that book( This sentence is confusing consider rewording). Moreover, your left brain can functions because you imagine that story. I think in this cases prove( case proves) that people are enjoyable ( entertained) when they read fiction novel which makes them curious to know story until the end.

I like this 1st paragraph!You have great ideas.

( New Paragraph)From the other side, watching movies is interesting to do. For an ilustration, you watched movie which is appointed from novel. So, you did not need a long time to appreciate story and you can saw character in the movie to become a real person. Furthemore, brain just accept and just presume about continuation the story. Thus, watching movie is easily to do. ( I would love to hear more about this in depth, maybe add more sentences about your argument here.)

( New Paragraph)

Clearly, i ( capitalize)prefer that reading is more pleasant because i( capitalize) know that a story is more detail than watching movies. However, watching movie is more easily easier to do.

EF_Jasmine - / 68  
Feb 22, 2015   #2
Hi! You have some great ideas, great start! I think you should develop your thoughts more for each section. This will help by separating each argument into a paragraph. You are clear on what you are arguing, but you should add more ideas to make this essay stronger. Also please work on punctuation, your I's are not capitalized and you misspelled a couple of words. Overall I enjoyed reading your point of view. Good luck!


Home / Writing Feedback / Reading fiction (such as novels and short stories) is more enjoyable than watching movies.
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳