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An essay on reading and writing - how to improve language skills?

lacuspendragon 1 / -  
Jun 11, 2016   #1
Topic: how to improve your reading and writing skill

My deadline is drawing near. Can you guys give me feedback as well as give my essays some correction? Thank you

At some point in man's millenium, with the first language "revolution" betiding several thousand years ago, the vulgar monkey of the old days civilized itself and became a gallant man in the New Ark. And now, while the passage of time stretches on, yet again is another linguistic "revolution" coming for us humans. However, unlike the last one where language was formed and divided into different families as man warranted his footprints in different lands, the "revolution" of the right-now aims to set a language a pivot for international commongrounds. Such language is, without the slightest of doubt, is English. In order to prepare for this grand upheaval coming underway, it makes every sense for you, my unknown fella, to spare your precious efforts into learning English. As a fellow learners, I shall share with you now the methods to overcome 2 hardest disciplines of English-reading and writing.

What is it the significance that reading and writing in English possess towards you? Have you ever...regarded them as a means through which you may better cope with your upcoming exams or assignments? if so, then pardon me but the highest of height your skill will get to is a 7,5 or so in the IELTS. So as to go further, reach out to the furthest, and unearth the uttermost of your potential in these 2 fields, you need to cherish them as one of your senses, perceive them as the chief weapons with which you fight you long, arduous life battle. Now, ponder for yourself the following questions: What is the reasons for you to read? You read because you do not watn to drift backward while the rest of the globe is unceasingly navigating forward in th intellectual flow. What is it that spurs you into taking up your pen and scheming an argument? It is to echo your ego about the world, or in some cases, to call upon a shift in the may-be eccentric paradigms of the others. Having these essences forged into your mind? Congratulations, I hereby declare that you hold within you what it takes to become better in reading and writing.

Since you have adopted a rightful spirit when regarding reading and writing, let us proceed to our main question: "To improve in reading and writing, what is it the requirement?". Browsing through the web, one ubiquitous answer that you may find pervading across the Net community is "read more, write more. Read daily, write daily. Immerse yourself in the ocean of words, devote yourself to the jungle of grammatical structures." True, but not the truest in the sense of word. In fact, this methodology could only be effective in reading, when it comes ot writing, however, its efficacy is negated. Why? Because for writing, a daily habit shall not be developed, any amount of word shall prove...futile, so long as these following mindsets are not properly moulded. The first one of such is the mindset of "I cannot do it". Specifically, if there ever be an enemy that halts your conquest, then it should be the restraint you place on yourself. From this restraint there shall appear fear. From the resultant fear there shall henceforthly born reluctance. And it is this reluctance in your mind that shall eventually arouse the reluctance in your writing, rendering it an incoherent collection of words meagerly fabricated together. To overcome this, remind yourself of the essences that you inherit in paragraph 1. When we have successfully evoked your will to write, our next concerns is the notion "the bigger the words, the better the sentence". In the confrontation of this rotten mindset, keep this in mind that writing is the embroiderment of words in the sense that even the simplest of phrases could be appeal to the readers and stir up something in them. Considering these phrases: "forging the feels inside his readers" and "inflicting on his readers an emotional evocative effect". Admitting that the second phrase demonstrates a much more complex wording than the first, nevertheless, what conveyed by the former is more approachable and stylistic appealing than what could have been communicated across by the use of the latter.
ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Jun 13, 2016   #2
Trung, here's my contribution and feedback towards your essay. I hope you can find it helpful.

1st paragraph:
- At some pointS in man's milleniummillennium ,...
- AndThen now, while the passage of time... (using coordinating conjunction 'and' will make the essay less formal)
- ...a pivot for international commongrounds common-grounds.
- it makes every sense for you, my unknown fella(I have no idea what is the point of describing 'you' as 'the unknown fella')
- As a fellow learners , I shallwould like to share with you now thesome methods to..

2nd paragraph:
- What isare the reasons for you to read?
- ..because you do not watnwant to drift backward...
- ...forward in the intellectual flow.
- What is it that spurs you into taking up your pen and schemingschemes an argument? (the parallel was spurs and schemes, not taking and scheming)

3rd paragraph:
- Immerse yourself in the ocean of words, and devote yourself to the jungle of...
- True, but it is not the truest in the sense of word.
- You can considerConsidering these phrases: "forging the feels inside his readers" and "inflicting on his readers an emotional evocative effect". (missing subject and verb)

Regards :)
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Jun 13, 2016   #3
Hi Trung, first of all, WELCOME to the Essay Forum Family.
We hope you consider us as your helpful and valuable tool in coming up with stronger essay and more insights to answer the prompt.

The moment I read your essay, I got confused, the words are quiet bold and deep, which is good, but somehow they didn't mean what you are trying to convey to your readers One thing that you have to understand is that, when writing, you have to keep it simple, this is a very simple writing technique that is a must in making sure that your ideas are expressed properly.

To further explain my observation, below is an example.

- At some point in man's millenium, with the first language "revolution" betiding several thousand years ago, - you see, in this particular part of the essay alone, as a reader, I don't really understand where you're coming from or where you want the essay to go.

So, I read along, I was able to keep up, the way I understand it, it has the idea that answers the prompt, however, you started quiet complicated however, you managed to keep it up and be precise with your thoughts.
akbartaufiq25 7 / 81 54  
Jun 16, 2016   #4
Trung, I know that this is a quite a bit late, but I would like to give you my inputs in addition to the above feedbacks from our contributors. You know, when I read your essay, it looks like I am standing in a campaign where you are the candidate - delivering your powerful speech to gain as many as possible votes in the election later. Your writing style is somewhat similar to the style of speech which is very persuasive.

As Ivy said that this is one of your strengths, you must put the reader as the top priority prior to starting your writing. I know that you try your best to give the reader your masterpiece, but this may result in some grammatical inaccuracies as Ichan suggested previously. Try to read more persuasive essays to enhance your writing as well as gaining some insights on how to have a good writing. I am positive that you can do better in your next writing. I am looking forward to read your strong argument, in a well-written essay. Best regards.

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