There are many reasons why people should choose a specified job

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction
Do you agree or disagree?

job choice aspects

ANS:
There are many opinion that a job provide high salary is more important than job satisfaction. However, I obviously disagree that, job satisfaction is biggest goal in searching a job.

People might choose the job which provide them high salary. They think having enough money is important to live. For example, if people have some health problems and must to go to see a doctor. The expense of medical surgery is usually expensive, if people can not afford this expense, surgery will not progress successfully. Moreover, having a myriad of money can buy anything they want, anywhere they want to travel. High salary can bring them high quality life.

On the other hand, job satisfaction also have many benefit to people. Firstly, people find a job which they dream it so much, they can totally devote themselves into their job. Furthermore, if they doing perfectly in their job and they would promoted by their supervisor. Secondly, job satisfaction could fulfill someone and they do not think job is boring. They would energetically go to work every day. Although people who satisfy their job but they do not have high salary, I believe their life is happier than others.

In conclusion, there are many aspects of people should choose a job in high salary, rather than have job satisfaction. In my perspective, job satisfaction is more important than high salary, so I disagree big salary is more important than job satisfaction.

@AAriel

I really don't think the 2nd paragraph is necessary. You also need to come up with stronger points to support the notion, paragraph 3 is unclear and not strong enough

Lu, your opening paraphrase is incomplete as it does not satisfy the presentation of the original information. This paragraph should be at least 3 sentences long in order to pass the proper paragraph format for this essay. Here's a sample:

Some people say that earning well is important when it comes to work. Others insist that job satisfaction is the more important factor to consider. In this essay, I will discuss my personal opinion regarding the given statement.

You have a problem with coherence and cohesiveness in all your paragraphs. You are presenting unrelated information without using transition sentences. A clear example of this can be found in paragraph 2 (for starters) where you said that people need high salaries because it is important to their lives. You mention medical care as an example of this. However, you go from simple illness that require simple medication to medical surgery, without transitioning from simple to complex examples. Then, without fully explaining those reasons, you suddenly talk about needing money to buy anything they want. Then you close by talking about a high quality of life.

You need to learn to justify your discussions using one reason per paragraph. That is the only way you can score higher in the C&C portion of the essay. The way you have the essay written at the moment, the highest you can score in the C&C section is 2. Just as your TA score will only be a 3 for similar reasons.

Your main areas of concern and future improvement are the TA and C&C sections. It would be in your best interest to focus on making better presentations of those areas in your upcoming essays. When you improve those 2 sections, the remaining scoring factors should also improve.

Also, I need to remind you that punctuation is important in IELTS and getting it wrong will lose you some marks.

However, ...

It should be :

However, I obviously disagree that [no comma] job satisfaction is the biggest goal in searching for a job.