Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


Reasons and solutions for wasting food



tunglinh0907 8 / 18  
Sep 15, 2017   #1
Every day, millions of tons of food are wasted all over the world. Why do you think this is happening ? and how can we solve this problem?

Wasting food is a disquieting problem



An excessive amount of food is thrown away on a daily basis, which is a burning issue throughout the world. This problem results from certain reasons. However, many steps can be taken to address the issue.

Obviously, there are many causes leading to the phenomenon. First of all, the amount of wasted food has surged substantially due to mass production. Various types of food are manufactured significantly and customers can purchase food in every supermarket or any stores at any time. Therefore, people have a tendency to underestimate the vital role of food as they think food is always available and never become lacking. Another reason is due to the reasonable price of food. It is clear that mass production gives rise to the imbalance between supply and demand. Food is becoming superfluous, more than people's demand and therefore, it becomes affordable for every customer. People buy a huge amount of agricultural produce and raw meat as they are at the low price. Last underlying cause is people buy food because they want, not for their requirements. It is inevitable that food companies have several strategies to attract potential customers to buy their food such as stunning packages, fresh food selection or food discount programs. As a result, buyers are appealed to purchase more food despite having enough at home.

Nevertheless, there are different measures to settle the global issue. Initial solution is governments should raise citizens' awareness by disseminating information about the food role. People have to understand the significance of food, do not buy because of its eye-catching appearance and should be educated methods to preserve food for many days. Secondly, inhabitants should be encouraged to use left-over food in place of throwing away. For instance, they can donate redundant food for the homeless and the disadvantaged or gather stinky food for animal breeding in order to save food.

In conclusion, wasting food is becoming a hot trend recently as a result of mass production, price decrease and enterprises' promotional strategies. Those in control should come up with several approaches to deal with the reality, ranging from education to donation.

caccy46 1 / 3  
Sep 15, 2017   #2
@tunglinh0907
Good work! The only thing I would change is matching the solution paragraph to be of equal length or longer than the cause paragraph since the focus of your paper seems to be on how to solve food waste. So, the solution paragraph should be the most lengthy.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Sep 15, 2017   #3
Linh, you are creating controversy in your opening statement, which is changing the tone of the original prompt from conversational to debatable. Always follow the original tone of the prompt by keeping your paraphrase logical and within the realm of peaceful discussion. Avoid exaggeration in your statements as that changes the task accuracy of the essay. If you want to score highly in the TA section, then do not over emphasize. Stay within the reasonable discussion setting of the original prompt. Therefore, the approach you should have taken was:

It is believed that millions of tons of food end up uneaten and thrown away globally. Very little is known as to why this sort of wastage has been happening.This essay will look into the reasons as to why this trend is growing and make a suggestion that could possibly help solve the problem.

Notice the consistently academic tone in the discussion that I represented in my paraphrased prompt? That is what the examiner will be looking for, logic and reason in the presentation instead of sensationalism and exaggeration. I am sure that you can see for yourself which of the two paraphrased prompts is more aligned with the original discussion.

With regards to your body of paragraphs. You should have divided the second paragraph into 2 at the point where you said "Another reason..." as that phrase indicates that there is a change in the discussion topic which should be placed in its own discussion setting / paragraph. This separation would have created a more cohesive and coherent essay, as well as offer you the opportunity to create far more complex sentence presentations in a format the examiner would appreciate more in terms of scoring.

Your concluding sentence is impressive but requires one more sentence in order to create a complete paragraph as required by the C&C scoring section of the test. You could have separated the last, long line into 2 sentences in order to meet that requirement.
ditoaji 5 / 7  
Sep 21, 2017   #4
Hi Lin.
Here is a bit suggestion of your essay, it may helps.
gives rise = ( rise collocate only with make) mass production makes rise to the imbalance between supply and demand.
Peoplebuy a huge amount of agricultural produce and raw meat = double verbs
Last underlying cause is people buy food because they want, not for their requirements =Last underlying cause is that people buy food as many as they want, but nor for their requirement.


Home / Writing Feedback / Reasons and solutions for wasting food
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳