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Recently, abortion increases rapidly and becomes a controversial topic...


chituantran99 1 / -  
Jun 30, 2019   #1

the abortion debate essay



Recently, abortion increases rapidly and becomes a controversial topic. Some people suppose that abortion should be legal while others are against it.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
You should write at least 250 words.


Solution:
Abortion problem occurs popularly in young girls or some people who is uncontrolled in sex, which lead them to have been pregnant accidentally. From which, some people argue that the abortion is protected and promoted by law as opposite to preventing it from spreading. Personally, I agree with the opinion that abortion is controlled and legal in society.

On the one hand, legalization about the abortion that some of people approve it. Each young girl or mother when they have been pregnant in unintentional case, they can keep or give up the baby because the human - right is applied and should respect to their view. In addition, they are so young or not enough financial condition to care and bring up the baby inside uterus, but also they suffer the pressure from their family, relationship and community. For example, instead of keeping baby - pregnancy then they are ready for eliminating it to achieve the successful career since they are so young, full of energy and have a bright future.

On the other hand, abortion is not a simple decision for any individual and if it not implement in term of modern solution, the issue causes unpredicted result such as infertility, even died. For instant, in case of the pregnancy is more than twenty - two weeks and decide to give up, thus it can be dangerous for the mother's body. Moreover, after we carry out the surgical operation according to medical procedure about this work, the health of mother is weaker and more depressed. Hence, this affect to mental - physical status going with leaving the stigma and aliment in their life later.

Overall, in my personal opinion that we should record the each view, realize the abortion in a positive way.

Maria [Contributor] - / 934 337  
Jun 30, 2019   #2
@chituantran99
Hi there.

Welcome to the forum. Let me provide you with feedback on your writing.

Firstly, the formatting of your sentences can be improved through simplification techniques. Try to use a more straightforward writing pattern in order to articulate more efficiently the words that you're trying to portray. Doing so will help you minimize the mistakes you've made throughout the writing process. If you can do this, you'll be able to create more substantial and in-depth information. Having this simplified, conventional writing is also ideal for when you are trying to express your opinion because the translation of meaning is not lost.

That being said, when you have sentences (see your body ie. paragraphs two and three) that are lengthy, try your best to evade them altogether. Remember that your goal is to always ensure that you are understood by the readers. If you can, omit unnecessary words. If you can, separate your sentences into two different lines.

Always read through your English reference materials as I can tell that you had issues in terms of substantiating. Try to focus more on enhancing the depth of your writing through this process of editing the grammatically incorrect portions.

Best of luck as always.
godstar 1 / 1  
Jun 30, 2019   #3
Hi there,

Solution: - I think you should remove this word, as it is not a solution but your opinion from two point of views about in regard to abortion

legalization about the abortion ... - I think you should change the word "about" in this sentence
For example, instead of keeping baby - pregnancy then they are ready ...

died - death


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