The Relation of The Amount of Money and The number of Book Club Members

The line graph shows the amount of money which have donated by the Council and the number of book club members who had joined. Overall, the two graphs have increasing in third year significantly.

The first line graph informs about the money which has given by the Council that has the highest number in third year above 40 thousand pound. The extremely increase by 15 thousand pounds in second to third year. The graph not only always increase in each year, but also decrease in fourth year at 35 thousand pounds.

The second line graph shows the number of members who had joined in club book. The graph always increases in each year from second to fourth year. The highest number of book club members had resulted in fourth year about 12 thousand people. The opposite said that the lowest number had given at approximately 5 thousand members.

Hi yuri, first of all, you have to upload the diagram so that others can check your data towards your essay :)

Your essay is UNDERLENGTH
you have to check the number of words you wrote. good essay consists of 160-180 words in writing task 1

... of money which have been donated by the Council
passive form --> have + been + V3

Overall, the two graphs have increasingincreased in third year significantly.

The extremelyan extrem increase happenedby 15 thousand pounds ...

Hi yurikeyuri. i want to give you some suggestion.
i hope it will be useful for you.

i found a repetitive in your essay which you mentioned "thousand pounds" three times. to avoid a repetition i think you should mention it in your introduction, so you shouldn't mention it again in your body of essay.

... amount of money which has donated by the Council ...
Overall, the two graphs haveincreasing increased in ...

... number in third year at above 40 thousand pound . The extremely increase The picture increased extremely by 15 thousand poundsinfrom second to third year. The graph not only always increase in each ...

however, the graph witnessed an increase on every year, it decreased over fourth year at 35.

good luck and keep writing! :)

1. The line graph shows the amount ... Overall, the two graphs ...( i think that this meaning different from the original state, pay attention with your pharaprase and in overview you should put the interesting one phenomenon)

2. The first line graph informs about the money which has given by the ... ( try to review again i think that this sentence confusing)
The extremely >>>( increase extremely ) increase (which one increasing ???) by 15 thousand (...) to third year (s+v agreemen). The graph not only always increase in each year, but also decrease in fourth year at 35 thousand pounds. the graph not only increase, but also (s+v)......