Relationship between HIGH SALES & POWER OF ADVERTISING

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.

Today is the age of technology; media has deep influence on the life of men. Nowadays, almost every products company use media advertisements to expand their products. These advertisements attract people to buy goods; even they have no need of those things. Now it is the spark debated that advertisements are changing the lifestyle of man through many aspects. However, it depends on the man think first to purchase anything.

Nowadays, products makers hire big advertising companies to promote their merchandise. However, these advertising companies organise advertisements in such a pretty way that attract people, specially adults to purchase those goods without need of that. Now, companies use actors and film stars to play a role in advertisements to offer merchandise in an attractive way. In this way, adults want to buy those things which are presented by their favourite celebrities. Similarly, food and toys' companies are producing advertisements based on music and thrill. In this way, they target children to buy these goods. For example, nowadays lots of mobile advertisements are presented by famous film stars, this thing attract the youngsters to buy these products.

On the other hand, these advertisements have negative impacts on society to some extent. Advertisements motivate adults to buy unnecessary things and in some situations it is difficult for parents to fulfil their desires. Similarly, many people can afford these unnecessary things and show off their things. In addition, it has negatively affected others mind. However, it is the responsibility of people realise the things which are necessary for them.

It is concluded that it is the man dependence to purchase things and advertisements have no effects. However, in the case of children it is difficult for parents to control them. It is the duty of government to ban such advertisements which exploit the society.

Nice argument.
What exactly do you need help with?

I need help with vocabulary..
And have you any idea about band score???

written very well, views are shown clearly and appropriately but the word 'to buy' was used repeatedly.

There are two things you need to follow when opening a new thread. First, you should have a meaningful title in the Subject field (this one is attended by us). Second, you better mention the purpose of this writing in the title itself, e.g. TOEFL, IELTS, GRE etc. That help others to provide you with more task related comments.


There is very little connection between these two sentences. This is your hook and therefore it needs better presentation.

I like this paragraph. However, you need more work to improve it in order to earn a good score for your exam.

The perfect ending to an essay, I worked with this structure (when facing my previous exam) :
1. a 'conclusion' signal: In conclusion, ....etc,
2. a summary of the main points or a restatement of the thesis (in different words!)
3. a final comment, based on the information in the essay
The final comment can be:
3.1. a warning or prediction (often using the first conditional: If ..., ... will ...)
3.2. a suggestion or recommendation (often using should or must)

Hope this help you :)