Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 6


IELTS task 2: Resist change or Welcome change?



Alison 5 / 13  
Jan 28, 2014   #1
People naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kind of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

****************

It is undeniable that people are very reluctant to make changes in their lives. Once we are comfortable in our everyday routine, we merely think about changing it, fearing about losing the current comfy lifestyle. However, most of the time, resistance to change leads to certain problems in life.

Although people who have been doing the same job for years are able to complete the task easily, they are usually less satisfied about themselves. In other words, they tend to doubt their own ability and hence are more likely to have depression. Besides, such employees tend to have lesser creativity and barely produce good ideas for the company. What is more, resisting change often creates conflicts in the workplace. For example, disagreement over need of change of a certain software would lead to a big argument which will delay the whole project. The obvious solution for such issues would be to educate employees to understand the purpose of change. If necessary, cost and benefit analysis would be performed.

Problems of resisting change occur outside workplaces too. It is one of the reasons that stops young people from grabbing great opportunities. For instance, many students refuse to study oversea because they are scared that they will not be able to adapt the new environment in a different country. As a result, they lost the chance to improve their living standard. A possible solution is for the parents to give their child clear idea on how the change will brighten up his or her future so that the child knows exactly what the benefits are.

In conclusion, I believe that change is essential to improve our humanity as a whole. If we encourage ourselves not to be afraid of facing the unstable transient after the change, we will find that it is worth to take a chance when things settle down.

Fardhani Putri 23 / 44  
Jan 28, 2014   #2
Hi Alison,
your essay is great!
but, perhaps you need write more about the solution, that's make it balance between problem and solution.
Regards
Fardhani
Arun0506 27 / 119  
Jan 29, 2014   #3
Hi Alison,
I feel your could have been little better by following the below structure

1) Introduction : Hook message, Background/importance of topic and then your view about the topic
2) Paragraph 1: Possible issue arise because being resistance to changes
3) Paragraph 2: Possible solutions for to overcome such resistance in people's mind-set and little bit of benefit due to adopting changes
4) Conclusion : Summary of your body paragraphs and you prompt / view about resisting changes

Good Luck!!!
dumi 1 / 6793  
Jan 29, 2014   #4
It is undeniable that people are very reluctant to make changes in their lives.

This sounds a bit stereotype statement. Not every man or woman is reluctant to make changes in their lives. Quite contrary, some really look forward to changing.

It is undeniable that people are very reluctant to make changes in their lives. Once we are comfortable in our everyday routine, we merely think about changing it, fearing about losing the current comfy lifestyle.

You could have said -
People generally are reluctant to accommodate changes in their lives. ... this helps you to qualify the ones who look forward to changing :D

Although people who have been doing the same job for years are able to complete the task easily, they are usually less satisfied about themselves.

It's better you opened your essay giving more hint that you are going to talk about what problems it may cause;
Resisting change may affect us negatively.
OP Alison 5 / 13  
Jan 29, 2014   #5
Thanks all for the feedback! I really appreciate it :)
So, normally, it's better to put problems and solutions in different paragraphs. Am I right to say so?
dumi 1 / 6793  
Jan 29, 2014   #6
Yes, that's my approach :) Anyways, hope this structure would help you too (this is for Agree/ Disagree or Discuss both views types - but you can take some hints from that for all essays)


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2: Resist change or Welcome change?
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳