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Personal Response -The Wars



FissionMailed 5 / 5  
Nov 26, 2008   #1
Assignment:
In your opinion what does Robert possess that should help him survive the war? What are his flaws, especially within the context of war? This assignment is based on part one of Timothy Findley's "The Wars"

At an early age, I was taught that a person will prosper as long as that person does the right thing. This idea is evident in the countless war movies and television series where the protagonist always prevails. Having spent a great deal of time watching war movies and television series during my youth, I used to be convinced that individuals like Robert from The Wars, who does what is right, always survives the war. Looking back at the subject of war as a high school student, I realize the reality of war is far more brutal and senseless compared to the war depicted on television. In reality, Robert is far less likely to survive the war. While it is evident that Robert has much potential for surviving the war, I believe he would not survive for long because of his humane nature.

Robert possesses many traits of a fine soldier such as physical fitness, practicality, and perseverance. Robert's physical fitness is exhibited when he goes on evening jogs despite the intense physically drill that lasts from "dawn to suppertimes" (p.24) during his training at the military academy. He displays practicality when he came up with realistic solutions to clean up the horse hold (p.62) given the little resources available. Furthermore, the fact that Robert ran until he collapsed during the twenty six lap marathon (p.47) shows his strong sense of perseverance. Clearly, Robert has the potential to survive the war since he already possesses many traits necessary for survival.

While Robert might have many things going for him in the context of war, he is missing several crucial traits such as the ability to deal with death, to kill, and to obey orders without thinking independently. The fact that Robert enlisted as a result of Rowena's death shows his inability to deal with death. Without the ability to accept death, one can be driven insane on the battlefield, where death is a common sight and anyone can die at any second. Robert's inability to kill a horse during the voyage oversea (p.68) exposes his inability to kill. In a place where one has to kill or be killed, Robert will not live for long if he cannot kill without hesitation. Lastly, the fact that Robert joined the army when he was expected to stay at home and start a family shows he is an independent thinker who does not follow orders he feels strongly against. Disobeying the order of superior officer is penalized with dishonourable discharge, criminal imprisonment, and possibly death. Therefore, the fact that Robert acts and thinks independently is extremely dangerous to his survival in war. To truly survive at war, one must be able to deal with the mental distresses on a battlefield; in this case Robert simply has not shown the ability to do so.

Robert possesses many traits that can help him survive the war, but he lacks several crucial traits that are necessary for war. The fact that he is a few traits short can be compared to being a leg short of a table. These traits that he lacks are crucial to his survival and missing even one could spell disaster. In the upcoming chapters, he has to learn these traits if he wants to have a chance of surviving the war.

Please read and revise. How does it flow at the moment? Any suggestion to help me achieve flow?

Please and Thank you :)

EF_Team5 - / 1583  
Nov 27, 2008   #2
Good morning :)

I think this is a great piece; it is very organized and answers, point by point, all of the areas of the prompt. I think it flows well; your paragraphs are well structured and you use leading transitions between each of them to let the reader know that even though you are changing the topic, your subject is still connected. The only thing I would work on is that you use the noun "war" many times; so many that it is risking becoming repetitive. Look for synonyms for war to break that up and make your essay a bit more colorful. Great work!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com
OP FissionMailed 5 / 5  
Nov 27, 2008   #3
Made substitutions of war with its synonyms. Thanks for the feedback. :)


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