Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


A rising trend nowadays that urban residents live in small families instead of large families



rivathh 5 / 10  
Aug 8, 2019   #1

IELTS Task2 - Small Family Unit



In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large, extended family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend?

Nowadays, it is a rising trend in many nations that urban residents live in small families instead of large families. In my point of view, this is a negative trend.

In small family units, the benefit of large family network will disappear, which will have a negative impact on children care. When parents are busy for work, there are no relatives or grandparents to take care of children. Therefore, more and more people decide to hire a nanny, which might lead to some problems in society. One is that if parents hire an unqualified babysitter, children will be in a potential danger of child abuse, which is more often to be broadcast on news programs. The other one is that the relationship between parents and children will weaken due to the lack of time they spend together. Parents may not be able to notice the difficulties their kids' have met and gives assistance in time.

The trend for one-person household might even lead to people's mental illness because of the lack of interpersonal interaction. Without friends or other family member living together, when a person meets problems, there is no one there to ask for help. Most of the time the only way they deal with boredness and anxiety might be turning to the internet or social media, which will gradually make people lose their ability to associate with others in the reality.

In conclusion, I argue that there are more benefits for people to live in a large family so that it will be worrying if more people choose to live alone or in small family units.

Maria - / 1096  
Sep 23, 2019   #2
@rivathh
Hey there! This is quite an outdated post, however I will still try to provide you with a palatable review on this work.

Firstly, I commend how straightforward the first paragraph is when it comes to laying on the ground all of the essential information that people should know with regards the topic. Keep this up! Most of my concerns are surrounding the body paragraph because of how overblown the content is. The second paragraph needs to have firmer and more understandable sense of direct. Notice how there's a lack of correlation between the first sentences and the latter portions of the text. Try your best to intertwine your thoughts from the beginning to the end to evade having to squeeze everything in a smaller chunk.

The arguments that you placed in the third paragraph also need to be hammered down a lot more. Consider that you need to convince the readers about the nature of the written work.
renzito 3 / 4  
Sep 26, 2019   #3
@Rivathh
Nowadays, it is a rising trend in many ... In my point ..

There is upward tread in choosing living alone or with the extending family. It is a bit controversial whether is a positve or negative ways of living. In this essays i will disuss both points of view.


Home / Writing Feedback / A rising trend nowadays that urban residents live in small families instead of large families
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳