Robots and machines are gradually replacing people in their works.

As the world becomes technologically advanced, modern machines are replacing more and more jobs

In the 20th and 21st century, thanks to the considerable development of technology and technique, robots and machines are gradually replacing to help people on their works. This replacement took a lot of benifits for human. It's easy to realize that the industies such as computer science, textile, heavy industry, medical,... or even agriculture had an excellent advancement. Its effects were undiniale.

Types of intelligent robots are helping us a lot: agriculture gets higher productivity, kinds of goods are mass-produced. In medical, robotics in healthcare also impove our life: surgical procision, exoskeletons for the disable,...etc

Beside the benifits it took, there were also shortcomings of its. At first, many traditional jobs as cashier, mechanic, typist,... are gradually dissappeared because the appearance of robots might replace them.

It's quite hard to find a postman on the street currently. People over the world use E-mail because of the conveniences that it takes. I believe that anyone loooking at my post all own an E-mail. In my opinion, we lost something traditional, because we really got used to with the images of a postman roaming on the roads. Anyone who loves the king of sport: football, all knew the appearance of goal-line technology applied from 2014. It's a method used to determine when the ball has completely crossed the goal line or not. This assures for the fair between matches, but it is also lost something humanity from human-referees.

We cannot deny the benefits of robots and developed-machines. But we have to also admit few consequences of its.

Chau, your essay tries to convey an analysis of a given topic which was not properly developed although properly understood by you. As such, the essay comes across as scatterbrained or lacking in focus. I believe that you wrote this essay using a timer so you just kept on typing without giving any though to the words that you were typing. So the misspelling of certain words ended up making your statements difficult to understand, leaving the reader to piece together that it is that you really want to say. For example that you did not mean to say "undiniale". You meant to say "undeniable." Do you see how your lack of focus on vocabulary use is a weakness when it comes to your writing? There are other similar mistakes that can be found throughout your essay.

You also need to learn to use transition sentences in the final parts of every paragraph. If you do not ease your reader into the next paragraph topic, you end up with this kind of essay. Something that does not seem to have a clear direction in terms of discussion. Looking into how you can connect your paragraphs will help you create a more informative essay.

Hi Chau, as I go through the essay, I must say there is not doubt at all that you know how to write and address the prompt that you tasked to do, however, I noticed that the idea you are trying to send across to your readers did not really do well. To elaborate this observation, please find my corrections below;

- In the 20th and 21st century, thanks to thea
- and technique,such as robots and machines
- are gradually replacing to help people on their worksreplace our manpower .
- This replacement tookbrought a lot of benifitsbenefits to peoplefor human .
- medical,... or even agriculture had
- an excellent use of this advancement.
- ItsThe effects were undinialeundeniable .

- Types ofThe type of intelligenceintelligent robots - have are helping us a lot

There you have it Chau, as you can see, there's a huge difference from the original essay to the corrected ones and I hope you follow through with the corrections.