Unanswered [17] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


IELTS TASK 2 - More and more works is done by the machines.


madmoiselle 21 / 32 5  
Aug 18, 2016   #1
More and more works is done by the machines. What are the impacts on individuals and society? What's your opinion?

Today, machine plays an important role in people's life. This phenomenon leads the impacts towards individuals and society. Nevertheless, I believe that there are advantages and drawbacks of such this issue.

It is unquestionably that technology has facilitated people's work to be done easily. However, this development assumes individuals to be more dependent on using it. A host of sophisticated machines created by scientists has substituted people's power. The human resources become lessen as a consequence of it. This phenomenon triggers a number of problems such as unemployment due to a lack of the job field in many areas. Thus, using machine in today's society should be taken into account, particularly for the private and the public sectors.

The prevalence of machine is indeed very essential in everyday's task. Nevertheless, people are not supposed to be dependent on using it for all purposes. In terms of cleaning the floor for instance, they can do it manually by using a broom or a mop instead of using a vacuum cleaner. Unless, the works cannot be done by people's power such as photocopying. However, it is considerable that using machine needs a lot of energy and triggers global warming. Hence, individuals ought to use their own strength as long as it does not strive for them.

In conclusion, machine has taken part in today's world is undoubtedly true. In my point of view, people have to consider its impacts to the human resources and the environment. Therefore, the government should be wisely in addressing this issue.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Aug 18, 2016   #2
Hi Rere, upon reviewing the essay, I must say is is written comprehensively thorough, it has all the necessary information needed to put your opinion out there and this is a very important technique when you're writing and I know that you know this very well.

Furthermore, the essay is taking current events, events that are happening in todays generation, you were able to relate the reality of life and all there is that machines has to offer to make life easier and more comfortable. At the end of the day, comfortability is what we need in order to create that harmony in life and more often than not, with proper use and the responsibility coupled with it, technological breakthroughs are definitely helpful and valuable to our existence.

Overall, there are still minor enhancements that can be done such as the right form of the words, the input placements as well as your verb forms and to give you some examples, please find below;

- world and this is undoubtedly true.
- Therefore, the government should be wiselyenough in addressing this issue.

There you have it Rere, I hope this review helped and do let us know should you need further assistance.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 - More and more works is done by the machines.
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳