Dear All,
I am preparing for IELTS (General) exam and need your assistance to improve my writings.
Question:
Some people say that mobile phone plays a major role in their professional life. Others say it plays a more important role in their personal life. Discuss both sides. What is your opinion?
I wrote below essay and, please help me to improve it.
Thank you
Nish.
Mobile phones and its related technologies can be considered as one of the most promising invention of the twentieth century. Initially the technology started as a method of calling to a person at anytime from anywhere. Nowadays, it has been developed to the level where it can facilitate all means of communication such as Voice calls, text messages, call conferencing, video calling, image sharing, connecting to internet, social networking, information processing and sharing.
These features allow us to keep in touch with our family members and beloved once without any barriers. It is well known fact that, because of various reasons our extended families fading out and we are moving to micro families based social structure. However, these technologies facilitate the ways of being connected with our beloved ones and build up the relationships with our relatives and friends. Furthermore, mobile phones acts as our personal information manages and social networking devices. It also facilitates different ways of entertaining such as video, music and games.
On the other hand when it comes to professional life, mobile phone provides more convenient platform to dealing with employment related matters. Professionals can use facilities like call conferencing and video call conferencing instead of traditional face to face meetings. This saves great amount of valuable time and cost for the companies. Furthermore, technologies like "Blackberry" facility, provides the easy and timely access to the internet and email services. Eventually it will help with the process of communication and information access for the managers and decision makes. On the other hand, various software programs transferred mobile phones into small computers where Professionals can uses mobile phones as mini computers.
However, it can be seen that most of the time the role of mobile phones in personal life outweigh the usage of mobile phone for professional life. It can be conclude that people still prefer to use of mobile phone as equipment which helps with their personal life than the professional life. Sometime this is because of the cost involved in the facilitating the usage for professional life.
I am preparing for IELTS (General) exam and need your assistance to improve my writings.
Question:
Some people say that mobile phone plays a major role in their professional life. Others say it plays a more important role in their personal life. Discuss both sides. What is your opinion?
I wrote below essay and, please help me to improve it.
Thank you
Nish.
Mobile phones and its related technologies can be considered as one of the most promising invention of the twentieth century. Initially the technology started as a method of calling to a person at anytime from anywhere. Nowadays, it has been developed to the level where it can facilitate all means of communication such as Voice calls, text messages, call conferencing, video calling, image sharing, connecting to internet, social networking, information processing and sharing.
These features allow us to keep in touch with our family members and beloved once without any barriers. It is well known fact that, because of various reasons our extended families fading out and we are moving to micro families based social structure. However, these technologies facilitate the ways of being connected with our beloved ones and build up the relationships with our relatives and friends. Furthermore, mobile phones acts as our personal information manages and social networking devices. It also facilitates different ways of entertaining such as video, music and games.
On the other hand when it comes to professional life, mobile phone provides more convenient platform to dealing with employment related matters. Professionals can use facilities like call conferencing and video call conferencing instead of traditional face to face meetings. This saves great amount of valuable time and cost for the companies. Furthermore, technologies like "Blackberry" facility, provides the easy and timely access to the internet and email services. Eventually it will help with the process of communication and information access for the managers and decision makes. On the other hand, various software programs transferred mobile phones into small computers where Professionals can uses mobile phones as mini computers.
However, it can be seen that most of the time the role of mobile phones in personal life outweigh the usage of mobile phone for professional life. It can be conclude that people still prefer to use of mobile phone as equipment which helps with their personal life than the professional life. Sometime this is because of the cost involved in the facilitating the usage for professional life.
