I liked your writing style. But I think it would be better to avoid repeating some words and phrases like "pushing forward".
I will only move forward and not give up on anything that may block my path
I think if you add some of your experiences through which you could overcome the obstacles on your way, you can prove what you are claiming in this part of the essay.
Because of this disease, you were confined to a bed for almost a year and it was during this time that the doctors only gave you three months to live
If you use more emotional sentences in this part, you can make the essay more attractive. I mean portray your sadness and that hard moment emotionally.
Your essay is great and what I said are merely suggestions. Hope you find them helpful