please provide a feedback on this essay ,so that i can present good writing skill in my CLEP exam .
here is the essay ,please score this .The role of technology in our lives today: have we become too dependent
We are living in a society which is called "technologically civilized" society.Every small work we do is technology dependent. Today every other person is recognized with the device or gadget ,he carries; which is technically advanced. Ultimately , we can say that ,"living without technology is like living without air" in this technical world of today.Therefore, we are much dependent on technology.
Starting with the simple example of food storage. Today the shelf life of the food products is increased with help of modern technology and even preparation time of food is reduced with the help of new machines and equipment. Thus ,making the consumer to have an ease at its consumption and also in saving a lot of productive time. Ultimately, making the person dependent on it for his own benefits. This is unlike to the times of traditional cooking where people had to spare time and even do physical labor compared to the modern technically advanced time of today.
Technology made our lives simple but much dependent on it. We can sit in a corner and get connected to the world. Thus making the world a "global community." Communicate with a person in remote area within fraction of seconds ,make a trip of the world within no time, all these are possible with the advanced technology ,making us more dependent on its usage.
In the health sector,technology advanced to a great extent that today a machine can assist a person in intensive care and monitor him ,which was a tiresome and risky job to do manually before. In a way we are coming closer with the machines developed technically.
Technology is making the multitask functions to be available in a single device. Thus ,we can have multifunctional usage of the single device we own .The more simple ,the work gets with technology,the more we get dependent on it.
Technology makes us lethargic with little or no physical activity, in one aspect; but the same technology provides a inspiration or motivation to do creative jobs including physical activity .Example games like "V" games which are challenging video games and at the same time recreational, helping to spend time in a joyful way.
Today , we don't find even a single young kid without using the available technology to him/her.Technology made us dependent on it and we can't expect or imagine a life without using the word "technology" in it .Hence, technology plays a major role in our lives.