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Writing task 1 - Safety condition of endangered plants and their different living places


peter4904 1 / -  
Mar 21, 2021   #1
Question:

The charts below give info about endangered plants around the world.


Summerize the info by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
My answer:
The pie chart illustrates different safety conditions of thretened species, while the bar chart indicates data about various living places of those. In summary, most endangered plants are under protection and popularly found in tropical wet forest.

To commerce with, the proportion of protected plants is highest, at 64,10%, followed by 20,44% species with shortage of data, which is approximately 3 times less than the uppermost. The vunerable, endangered and critically endangerd plants are quite negligible, at 6,92%; 3,92% and 4,62% respectively.

Turning to the pie chart, it can be easily seen that the most favourite habitat of vegitation which facing extiction is tropical wet forest, at exactly 63% and overwhelms other environments. Harder-to-found species in tropical wet forest, dry savana, tropical dry grass land occupy 12,1%; 7,7% and 4,5% in order. Least popular choices for plants experiencing itimidation to live on are wetlands, tropical wet grassland and desert with only under 4,3% each.

P/s: Could anyone point out some mistakes that often made in part 1, as I often receive only 5.5-6 for my task? Thanks a lot!



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,535 3447  
Mar 21, 2021   #2
For starters, you are not writing enough words to merit a high TA score. While the minimum word count is 150, you should be writing anywhere from 175-200 words to assist in boosting your overall scoring consideration. The increased word count will help increase your LR, C&C, and GRA scores.You are averaging 2 sentences per paragraph. Write at least 5 sentences per paragraph to boost your score in the scoring section.

Your LR also shows a problem. You are using words you do not understand the meaning of. For example:

Commerce - an interchange of goods or commodities, especially on a large scale between different countries; social relations, especially the exchange of views, attitudes, etc.

Commence - to begin; start.

It is the latter word you want to use in the presentation.

The summary presentation is not really complete. It lacks the outline or enumeration of the threatened species and a trending statement for each image. As such, the summary accuracy is not going to help you get a better TA score. These are the most likely reasons why your score never goes higher than a simple passing mark. Improve on these points and your score is sure to get a consideration boost.


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