Save money. Should or shouldn't?

Nowadays, a few people belive that they should save thier income as much as possible to ensure a stable future but some people belive that life is too short to save money, so they enjoy spending on as many things as possible. I think I agree with they should save their income as much as possible to ensure a stable futre. I will discuss both views and give my opinion on this problem in my essay.

The first, I believe that they should save their income help they have some big money. They use money for family and themselves. They have enough money for children learn in good school. They also help poor people in your life.

On the other hand, some people believe that life is too short to save money and they enjoy spending on as many things as possible. They will only care themselves. They does not think arough people need be help in your life. When they are sick they does not enough money pay to hospitalfree.

To sum up, a few people think that they should they save their income as much as possible to ensure a stable future. And then, some people belive that life is too short to save money, so they enjoy spending on as many things as possble. I believe that they should save their income as possible to ensure a stable future.

You cannot give an uncertain writer's opinion. You will lose points for not being clear about your support for a particular point of view. You must always work towards a strong writer's opinion statement so that you can have a strong preliminary TA score.

Your first reasoning paragraph is too short. You did not meet the 3-5 sentence requirement. You have to write that many sentences so that you can meet the minimum word count, which you actually have a problem with in this essay. That particular paragraph is not well developed and will result in a scoring consideration for an under developed essay.


This is the most grammatically problematic part of the essay. You need to work on your English sentence structures and vocabulary. You are not using the correct English words in this sentence.

The essay has some grammatical errors and lack clarity. For instance, on your second paragraph ..."They have enough money for children learn in good school. They also help poor people in your life." I will put it this way. ........... They can save enough money to put their children in a good school

Secondly, You seem uncertain about your support. You may loose points because of that. You have to clear on your position and give good reason to support your point.

Also, try writing down your points and develop them to meet the word count required. This seems very short.