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IELTS - School Graduate with negative attitudes - Cause and Solution



learner26 4 / 4  
Jul 13, 2011   #1
Hi all,

This is my 2nd post and i hope i will be getting feedback from fellow forumer as i am preparing for my upcoming IELTS test.

Many young people nowadays graduate from schools with negative attitude. Why do you think this happens? What can be done to solve or reduce this problem?

In the present age, education has becoming more important and available. In line with this, the number of school graduates is increasing as well. Recent research suggested that many young people graduated from schools tend to display negative attitudes including selfishness, self-conceit, passive and lack of socializing skill. This essay will discuss the potential causes and provide remediation to this issue.

The nature of competitiveness in school coupled with parents' higher expectation has mounting the pressure on students. Students are tailored to endeavor solely on academic excellence and often being compared to their peers. Despite the healthy competition in term of academic achievement, such mentality has negative repercussion on the personal attitudes. For instance, unwillingness to share reading materials with others in order to obtain top rank in class would certainly develop into selfishness. In addition, academic focused student tend be passive due to lack of outdoor exposure and engagement in social activities.

Every cloud has a silver lining and this does applies in preventing students from developing negative attitudes at school. Academic oriented school should emphasize extra-curriculum activities for their students through the inception of after school clubs such as the toastmasters club, sports club and charity club. By engaging in these activities, positive value particularly teamwork and communication skill can be instilled among the students.

To sum it up, negative attitudes possess by graduates is ensuing from over academic oriented study environment. It is hoped that the obsession of being the top of class can be balanced with healthy activities that would produce graduate with positive characteristics.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Jul 14, 2011   #2
Yes, that verb tense needs to change...

has become
or
is becoming

Either is okay...

A common expression is like this:
in terms of... ---- Use the s

:-)

Your English is great!!!
shahdad 7 / 17  
Jul 16, 2011   #3
i am not really in a place to estimate a score for it but i do think at least you would gain 7 or 7.5.
i would appreciate it if you could take look at my essay


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