Task 2: Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects.
Discuss both views and give your opinion
It is suggested that students should learn the science and preparation of food as part of the school curriculum. Others, on the contrary, claim that the important subjects should be spent more time learning at school. This essay will discuss both opinions and opine why the study of food is as essential as learning the other subjects.
To begin with, it is undeniable that students should spend most time studying main subjects for their future career. These subjects including mathematics, physics and literature are necessary because they offer elementary understanding of calculating and linguistic skills, accordingly provide students with adequate knowledge for their study in university and improve career prospects. Therefore, the primary subjects are beneficial to students in terms of further study and job opportunities.
On the other hand, the science and preparation of food are increasingly significant in modern life. The reason is that the sustenance people consume is likely to affect their mental and physical development as well as the quality of study. Furthermore, learning to cook healthy food is necessary for a student's independent life in the future as they have to prepare their own food instead of relying on ready-made food. For example, research conducted by Harvard University in 2014 revealed that students who frequently ate fast food ran a higher risk of contracting cardiovascular diseases and tended to have poorer grades than those who did not because excessive intake of sugar and salt may hinder the activity of the immune system and the understanding and thinking process. Thus, a thoroughly understanding of nutritious diet and enough cooking skills are advantageous to students' health and study.
In conclusion, although the main subjects including mathematics and literature are crucial to students' future occupation, the science and preparation of food should be taught in school time. This essay discussed two contradicting viewpoints and justified the importance of food on people' health and study, thus promoting the education of it at school.
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The prompt restatement does not have an accurate thesis presentation at the end. For this task, you should present one clear point of view for each public opinion, then your own point of view. This way, you present your reasoning topic paragraphs early on, showing that you have carefully considered the discussion elements and how each discussion has affected your personal opinion.
The essay requires you to use your own opinion or publicly known information. You could use the Harvard research reference, without mentioning Harvard at all, since that does not show a personal basis for the information or publicly known data. That is researched information, which makes the writing go against the written information sources. Use third person pronouns to indicate the public points of view and the first person pronouns for your own opinion. As of now, the presentation feels like it is generally based on a public opinion, without a reference to your personal opinion. Or, an examiner could take it the other way around and consider this solely based on a personal opinion, rather than a personal opinion based on publicly known discussion points. Either way, the presentation will be considered only partially correct in response presentation. The missing personal point of view is really glaring in this presentation.
@Holt Thank you for your help. So I have to include another paragraph to express my opinion ?
Hi! I think your body paragraph 1 is quite undeveloped as paragraph 2. Because it is a discussion essay, you should discuss all of the views clearly, not just the views you support more
I also think that you should express your opinion explicitly, like that you support more views 1 or 2.