Chris Aderson gives an explanation regarding why the scientific discovery is enormously appealing and essential. The reason why is perfectly plain that he readily concedes when people take a scientific research into account with great curiosity and hard effort, it can make change the world better as such. In this TED video, he strives to give some examples about the discoveries done by Richard Feynman, Erastothenes, and also Galileo led to scientific discoveries.
Why the scientific discovery is enormously appealing and essential.
Nina, your summary is too brief. Try to aim for at least 5 - 10 sentences for your summary. 4 sentences in a single paragraph is going to be viewed as too short to have been able to deliver a concise summary of a video discussion. You need to make sure that you better develop your topic sentence and offer a little more meaning or reference to the experiments that were conducted by the scientists in order to better illustrate the point that Aderson is trying to make in his speech. While your essay truly conveys the topic and essence of the speech in a short and understandable manner, you need to lengthen your discussion in order to prove that you have a somewhat complex vocabulary and that you are able to explain, in layman's terms, the references to the experiments he noted in his talk. Those would all help to increase your score should this have been an actual test.
HI Nina, I'm not too sure if this particular summary will actually suffice what is asked of you to write, you see there is a line between a summary and writing a short story from the long one without capturing the essence or the idea that the story if trying to convey to you.
Now, when you do your revision, make sure that it consist of the whole process of writing an essay, I understand its a summary but it is still an essay, therefore, you still should be able to have the introduction, the body of the article and the concluding part that will pretty much cover the entire process of essay writing.
While you're at it, I hope you will follow through with the remarks made for this essay and should you need further assistance, you can write us here on EF and we will guide you through.
Now, when you do your revision, make sure that it consist of the whole process of writing an essay, I understand its a summary but it is still an essay, therefore, you still should be able to have the introduction, the body of the article and the concluding part that will pretty much cover the entire process of essay writing.
While you're at it, I hope you will follow through with the remarks made for this essay and should you need further assistance, you can write us here on EF and we will guide you through.