IELTS Task 1: The sector of economy for employment

The table shows the sector of economy which is different age groups for employment.

Generally, retail is higher employment sector of the economy than others, in 18-25 age groups. Followed by other employment sector in 25-40 age group and manufacturing employment sector in 40-65 age group.

From the table, in 18-25 age groups, retail is the most employment sector than others than followed by manufacturing health and other. For 25-40 age groups, work in education and local government sector. While in 40-65 age groups, people more prefer to work mostly in manufacturing but they work in retail more or less the same with the middle group's which less than 4 times that the youngest one do.

Interestingly, employment sector of law has same value for all of age groups which is value about 4. In 25-40 years-old group even has the least number working in accountancy which is just 2. Local government and education are two common sectors which all people want to work for.

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This is the introduction and the purpose of the intro is to clearly introduce what information that this table provides to the reader. Here it is not at all clear. This is what I suggest;

The table presents the distribution of employment in different economic sectors by age groups.


This is not a proper overview. The overview should give some background idea about what the table presents and it should not contain details such as data or statistics. You only have to report the major observations;

Overall, the majority of people works in the manufacturing sector and accounting industry records the least level of employment. The retail sector has generated the highest number of employment opportunities for the young people while the manufacturing sector has got the highest involvement of senior employees.

what does the word 'than' means? you put 'than' twice in a sentence
before 'than' you put 'the most'

when you put the most, it means there is no comparison, so you cannot put 'than' after that

read your grammar book again and try to repair this report