IELTS: Sector of the economy - employment by age

The table shows the in which sector of the economic different age groups were employment. The employment sector includes agriculture, manufacturing, catering, local government, health, retail, law accountancy, education and others.

Between 18 and 25 age group employment sector accountancy get 3% of economic. This number is lowest than the other sectors employment, although in 25-40 age group and 40-65 age group. Retail sector get 23% of economic, especially from 18-25 age groups. Contrast with 25-40 age groups only 7% of economic and 40-64 age group decrease 6% of economic.

Manufacturing sector gave big contribute of economic in all of age group especially in 40-65 age group. Health sector did not gave big contribute of economic but it was in the middle rate of contribute for economic especially in every age groups. In every age group of law gave 4% of economic. And for local government, catering and education sector each of them in average gave about 15% of economic in all age group. Actually from others sector gave a sharply increase contribute of economic in all of age group.

To sum up, all of the employment sector helps increasing of economic especially from health sector, they gave 39% of economic from all of age group and government sector, they gave 38% of economic from all of age group.

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Hi, upinipin.
I am afraid that the percentage did not mention the trend,then if you use percent (%) in your report is not figured out the trend objectively.


.... Among the overall number of people aged 18-25 group, three people work in the accountancy sector.

Dumi has suggested you an appropriate structure in one of your previous threads. I strongly advise you to follow that if you are very keen on achieving a good score for this task. You basically need -

1. Introduction
2. Overview
3. Detail paragraphs (body paras)
In this writing it is difficult to separate and identify your intro and overview :(

this sentence makes me confuse, you wrote too long. it would be better if you separate them into two sentences, so the readers will be easier to understand and catch your points