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There are several predominant factors to reach happiness



Beauty17 56 / 79  
Nov 8, 2016   #1
Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?

Nowadays, some people say that happiness considered as one of the essential positive feeling in our life. Unfortunately, to reach happiness is not ease and every person has different ways to define about happiness. There are several reasons why people difficult to define happiness.

Firstly, hapiness consisted of different meaning and elements. Prosperity, success and achievement are common criteria used by people to measure about happiness, particularly in our society. To illustrate, people will more appreciate if we have a luxury car and apartment, we will reach new standard of live and hone our prestige rather than we achieve academic rewards such as winner of math or physic competition.

Secondly, every person has different views about happiness. Some people argue that happiness come from their hearth and soul while the adherent of matrealistic says that wealth and money can bring happiness for the owner. For illustrate, a husband will extremely happy have a child from his wife and happy to wait for his children born, a student will very happy if they can get reward in their school because their achievement and a couple very happy to celebrate their anniversary every year.

To reach happiness, people should be combine with several predominant factor to reach happines such as heart satisfaction and sense of gratitude to god. First, we still can satisfaction every single happiness moment in our life. Health and chance for instance. Secondly, sense of gratitude to God makes us not greedy about wealth and money

To sum up, it is difficult to explain about happiness. However, there are some essential factors which usually able to make people happy.

ichanpants89 16 / 742  
Nov 8, 2016   #2
Ajeng, I have read through your essay. I found that the above essay is good. To make it better, you may consider the following notes:

1st Paragraph:
- ...some people say thatconsider happiness considered as one of (...) feelings .
- ...to reach happiness is not easeeasy ...

2nd Paragraph:
- Firstly, happiness consistsed of...
- Prosperity, success, and achievement...

3rd Paragraph:
- ... come from their hearth
- For illustrateexample , a husband will extremely happy to have a child (...), a student will be very happy if they ...

4th Paragraph:
- To reach happiness, people should be combine with several predominant factors ...
- Health and chance for instanceare the examples .

Good luck with your writing practice!
akbarmappiare 31 / 445  
Nov 9, 2016   #3
Hi Meireza..
Here are my corrections towards your essay


that happiness considered

THAT HAPPINESS IS CONSIDERED

happiness is not ease

HAPPINESS IS NOT EASY
(Please, make sure what you write is what in your mind)

There are several reasons why people difficult to define happiness.

I think you only focus on the first question, whereas there were two questions. You should show briefly about factors to reach the happiness. Your score will fall down because you only describe the prompts partially. Before you work the essay, you are supposed to create brainstorming.

Prosperity, success and achievement are common criteria used by people ...

Please, you concentrate on the prompts. your explanations widened. Really, you have to connect your sentence to another sentence so that readers can get points what you mind. Honestly, your sentences make me pause to get your meaning. You have to remember that in the essay you should communicate with the readers, not to impress them.

several predominant factor to reach happines such as heart satisfaction ...

This is the essay which you have to build systematically. I mean you have to explain what you state in the body paragraph. Those seemed like the layman's opinions because you list your view solely, but you did not include supporting sentences.

To sum up, it is difficult to explain about happiness

this can be not defined as the conclusion sentences. Keep in your mind, the conclusion is written from your the thesis statement.

Please, review my notes so that you do not make the same mistakes.


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