The silkworm during the cycle of life becomes a new moth. IELTS TASK 1

The diagram illustrates the cycle of life from silkworm that turned become moth. Overall, the life cycle of the silkworm has 4 stages it begins with placed of eggs and has been completed with biological formation of new moth from a cocoon.

The first, placed of eggs which doing by the female moth in their nest or mulberry leaf and occurring the process during 10 days so that transformed into silkworm lava. After that, silkworm larva process any more as long as 4 until 6 weeks stay around the mulberry leaf so that make a lump of the silk thread. This is where the process diverges, before becoming to new moth, the larva which make a silk thread change into cocoon during 3 to 8 days and the cocoon undergoing the process during 16 days that turn it into a new moth.

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Muhammad, try to divide your introduction into 3 parts in order to meet the 3 sentence minimum requirement for the summary. By dividing the important parts in the first paragraph, you offer a better and stronger overview of the discussions to take place next. It helps to give your essay a discussion direction.

Your essay is way too short for a properly formatted IELTS task 1 essay. Keep in mind that a properly written essay should be composed of at least 3-5 paragraphs written within 30 minutes. Each paragraph should have a topic sentence and must be discussed within a minimum of 3 sentences as well. Your current essay has only 2 paragraphs. The first one is extremely short and the second one is extremely wrong due to some errors on your part.

The sentence about the divergence of the processing of the silkworm should have become your 3rd paragraph. The reason behind that is because it talks of a totally new and independent process than the first two. Since it does not relate, then it should be separated. You should learn how to develop longer discussions based upon your observation of the silkworm life cycle in order to create more interesting and engaging paragraphs. At the moment, your essay is too technical in detail and does not show an interest in the discussion on your part. So while the essay is technically acceptable, it does not score well in terms of acquiring the reader's attention.