Unanswered [13] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3


My TOEFL Essay- "Smoking should not be permitted in restaurants" Agree !


vivian0926 1 / -  
Mar 5, 2012   #1
Dear everyone,

I'm going to take the TOEFL test next month and I'm so nervous right now. I hope that you'll help me to correct my essay. Thanks :D

Topic :

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

"Smoking should not be permitted in restaurants, and state laws that prohibit it should be upheld".

Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

I certainly agree that smoking should not be permitted in restaurants, and state laws that prohibit it should be upheld. There are several reasons to support what I believe.

First of all, there is a lot of research that proves the harmful influences of secondhand smoke. Even if smokers choose to endanger their own health, the other people in the same area have the right to protect their health. These people should be protected from smoke by prohibiting smoking in restaurants.

Some might claim that we don't have to forbid smoking in restaurants, that we can just separate smokers and non-smokers, but I don't think this is wise. Even though they are separated, they are still in the same restaurant and the smoke can disperse everywhere.

Finally, the smoke might influence customers' enjoyment. The food in the restaurant may be delicious, but customers can't enjoy it because they are in a smoke-filled area. Some of the dishes may contain unique spices, but customers can't smell them because of the smoke. Because of the unpleasant experience of eating in a smoke-filled area, the diners probably won't come back again. I remember once, when I went to a restaurant with my family and a woman next to us was smoking! I was really angry because she was ruining my dinner with my family. We couldn't have any conversation because all of us was coughing all the time. We haven't been to this restaurant after that time due to the displeasing experience. In this case, I think prohibiting smoking in restaurants is not only good for customers but also for the staff.

In conclusion, I think smoking should not be allowed in restaurants, and laws that prohibit it should be upheld. This can make it easy for restaurant owners to do the right thing without offending their customers.
SKsagar 1 / 2  
Mar 5, 2012   #2
I think your essay is really good, you could also add a few lines about what action did you take to stop smoking in restaurants. share some of your ideas that could help support this issue.
chocolate3 1 / 1  
Mar 5, 2012   #3
hey improve on you intro.. add more general topic than just starting as i prefer... say like this., many people smoke for relaxation and many for entertainment or something like that..


Home / Writing Feedback / My TOEFL Essay- "Smoking should not be permitted in restaurants" Agree !
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳