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IELTS 2 - Solving food waste issue by raising awareness and generating energy



thuydungle 1 / -  
Feb 22, 2018   #1
Every day, millions of tons of food are wasted all over the world. Why do you think this is happening? And how can we solve this problem?

identifying the reasons of food waste



In recent years, food waste has been becoming an emerging issue around the world. Given that the problem causes some significant environmental impacts, identifying the reasons is key to finding the solutions.

There are a number of reasons why this issue exists. First, a large of leftovers are thrown out into the environment every day over the world. as a result, this food can not disintegrate themselves, which contribute to global warming. Second, since each type of food has its own expiry date, after this date, food become inedible, they need to be disposed of. In fact, if people try to eat this food, they would get food poisoning, which makes them have to go to the hospitals.

However, there are also a variety of solutions to diminish this problem. First, governments and corporations can produce other productions from food waste to use for many other better purposes. For instance, some nations have taken steps to turn organic materials from food waste into biogas, generating electrical power at very low cost. Second, by raising awareness of people about the food usage, it can improve this problem. For instance, if a person knows how to use food properly, he or she can decrease the leftover.

In conclusion, even though food waste seems serious in today' s world, there are various ways to recycle it. Raising awareness and generating energy can be two of the most useful ways to tackle food waste.

ying_chen 3 / 5  
Feb 22, 2018   #2
Hello, few suggestions
1. Didn't meet 250 words requirement.
2. Use adverb not adjective. for example: firstly, ; secondly, ; lastly

Cheers!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15347  
Feb 23, 2018   #3
Le, by not meeting the minimum word requirement for the essay, you will end up getting a failing score for each of the 4 scoring considerations. Therefore, you will not get a passing score for this essay. I do not wish to give you an actual figure for the failing score because I do not want you to focus on the failure but rather, on the points for improvement that will be pointed out to you.

The essay was weakened mostly because of the way that you do not adequately develop your paragraph discussions. Don't discuss more than one topic per body paragraph because you lose major C&C points when you do that. The rule of thumb is to fully develop a paragraph through the presentation of a topic sentence, 2 reasons (if possible), then an example at the end of the paragraph to better illustrate the explanation. This should not be more than 5 sentences. The 5 sentence rule stands for all paragraphs. You cannot write only 2 sentences, you have to write the minimum of 3 sentences at all times.

Your opening paragraph has potential. The problem, is that you did not adequately develop the prompt restatement. Which is why the rest of the essay fell short of expectations. Here is a sample of a more definitive opening statement for an IELTS task 2 essay:

On a typical day, people waste over a million tons of food. This is a problem that is caused by several reasons. Based on these reasons, possible solutions may be suggested. This essay will cover the possible causes of the problem along with a presentation of possible solutions.

Don't focus on the mistakes you made on this essay. This is your chance to learn from your mistakes and also, learn from the work of others. Don't forget to check the similar discussions list also so that you can gain valuable pointers that can help you improve your essay style.


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